HNT: symbols

symbol (sim-buhl)-noun: something used for or regarded as representing something else; a material object representing something, often something immaterial; emblem, token, or sign.

There are many symbols in our world.
When a person wears a ring on their left hand... generally it means that that person is spoken for... married or intent. Sometimes it's just a sign of commitment. Either way there is a heavy weight put behind this outward statement of such an inner feeling.

For me... my wedding and engagement rings are a sign that I am married. It means that I have promised myself to my husband for the rest of my time on this Earth. I wear my rings everyday... all day. They are special to me... a part of who I am now.

When a person wears a collar... generally it means a person is owned in some form or another. The depth of such ownership is decided upon the couple. A collar is also equally as heavily weighted as a ring as it is not something that should be taken upon lightly. It's a commitment all of its own... to be in a relationship that is ran by one partner sexually and/or in everyday life.

For me... my collar is a sign that Ben is my dominant... sexually. We are equal partners in all other things. It means that I agree to submit to him... to meet a sexual need we both have. I wear my collar everday... all day. It is special to me... a part of who I am.

Just so you know...

Sometimes I think that the frustration builds up... so much that no matter how many times you notch away at it.... it continues it's upward climb. Sometimes I think the only way to actually bring it to it's knees is to bring the GIRL to her knees.... till she's a puddle of tears... but somehow- it frees her.

I think I'm kinda at that point. The point where I just need to be reduced to a pile of flesh. I can tell... because I'm sensitive to everything. Things that wouldn't normally irritate me... have been. I need a healthy dose of Ben beating my ass to bring balance back to me.

I need him to... beat me... push me... take from me... and then.. put me back together... all fresh.... and free.

Mother's Day Delight

It has been a week since we last had sex... because the dreaded aunt had come to visit. We were both frustrated.. missing our coupling. I received a phone call from my nephew saying he was on his way over to mow our lawn. We pay him to mow our lawn each week so that he can earn some cash and well... because we don't really like mowing the lawn.

We laid there in a groggy state after I got off the phone... but there is no way I was going pass up a chance to feel him inside of me. I slide my hands under the sheets to his hip moving it over to awaken his cock. I rubbed gently getting a sigh of pleasure from him. I worked a few minutes on him before he was fully awake.

Before I knew it Ben's hands were on my clit... rubbing rough circles. My body reacted immediately... back arched... enjoying the much missed attention. All the while I kept my hand on his cock.. stroking up and down .

After a bit of this.. I could not take it... I needed to feel full.... and so I shoved his hands lower... urging him to plunge his fingers into my wet hole. And he did... deep... sliding them in and out quickly... making my muscles tighten around his appendages. I was almost over powered by the sensations... but not quite.

Soon I was being turned onto my side... slightly lifting my leg to allow him access to my most tender of places. He slid in with ease... me gasping as he did so. A satisfied moan escaped my lips... almost as to say finally!

He started pumping his hips. His fingers inched up my torso till they found their home on my nipple. His initial touches were gentle... kneading them between two fingers. The gentlness soon melted into something more primal... more aggressive. He started tugging on my bud... pull and pinching making me cry out.

Then his assault changed.... he released me... then slapped his palm down on my breast.... I winced in pain. I loved every minute of it. Next came his fingers... raking over my chest. They went from one side to the other... leaving red lines in their wake.

He would spend the next bit alternating till they were screaming for relief. I pulled away a little... needing the break... needing a change. A change was what I got... his hand found a new place to attack... my ass.... there in front of him... begging to be spanked.

This, however, was no nice warm up spanking... this was harsh... take your breath away spankings. One after another... in a nice little row... sharp and to the point. My hands left my chest to cover my ass.... only for him to find my breasts again... slapping them again.

I squirmed... wanting the attack to end in one way... but not wanting it to end in other ways. I recovered my chest.... and as before... he found another target. He lifted my leg into the air... and made contact with my inner thigh. I yelped.

I decided it was time to give my body a break and wiggled out of his clutches onto my back. I moved my fingers to his nipple... taking it between my fingers and rolling it... all the while he kept fucking me.

"Make yourself cum", he ordered... and so my free hand found itself rubbing my clit... bringing myself quickly to orgasm at his command- my cunt tightening around him.

"Pinch your clit now... until I cum", he once more directed. I made no point of protesting... I knew that I had no fight in me. So I took the tiny bud in between my fingers and pinched. I could feel my muscles tighten around his cock again... all the while he moved in and out. His finish was not far off... and I was right... moments later his body shuddered... his seed spilling into me.

I hooked my leg aroud his back... pulling him deep inside as he pulsed into me... then let go of my clit... enjoying the product of our desire. Soon he slid out of me... and I curled into him... smiling.

disecting need

Where does the need for pain come from? How does one recognize that need inside themselves?

I can honestly say... I do not know where my need comes from.. or if there is even a reason why I am the way I am. I know a lot of people tend to say that devious wants come from a history of some sort of abuse.... but for me.. I had wanted that (just maybe not realized it) before I ever had an abusive relationship.

Growing up.. I can honestly only remember a handful of times I was spanked. I was a willful child... and generally got whatever I wanted. There was few to no rules in my house.. and I frequently boasted about this... that "I could do whatever I wanted". I ruled my house.. and I knew it. No was really not something I was told.

Whether or not that was a good thing... well.. I know it wasn't a good thing, but had I been in an environment in which there was structure... would I be who I am now? Probably not. I mean.. I did not turn out that bad, but I certainly could have.

I went from that life.. to a life filled with a lot of pain... not a good pain. My first real relationship was with a man that felt the need to hit me. Usually when we would fight. I am a strong willed girl... and easily am angered by some people. This, of course, lead to a lot of very unpleasant... tear filled moments.

But even though I endured physical abuse.. I still longed to feel a man's dominance over me sexually. It seems kind of weird to me.. that the idea of it would send me screaming in the other direction. Deep down I guess I know that being dominated I'm not being hurt in a negative way.. and perhaps that is the key here.

Still though, that does not answer where it began... what moment began that addiction? Or maybe.. just maybe it was not environmental induced. Perhaps it is just the way my mind and body are wired... that it is just as much a part of me as my eyes being brown.

Whatever the origin.... it is highly enriching... and brings me much pleasure. So.... it cannot be a bad thing.

may I have some pain with a side of blood, please

Yesterday was a particularly horny day for me... not that I'm not horny everyday but some days are worse than other. That was yesterday without any doubt... I could barely stand it. I knew I didn't have a shot in hell, though, because Ben had called on his lunch and said his back was really sore. I let that dream of sex go and gave into self fulfillment.

By the time we went to bed, I still wanted sex, of course.... but like I said, gave up on that idea. We laid next to each other talking as we always do... when the comfort of each other engulfed the room. We cuddled in silence... just enjoying being together. Out of no where Ben reached over and started gently stroking my face.

His fingers brushed my lips sending a jolt of electricity through my body. I was not sure if he was being tender or if he was initiating something. I tried to hold back.. not let the lust get the better of me.. but when he continued... I could no longer reign it in.

Soon his fingers worked their way down to my nipples... giving them hard, short tugs..... pain rushed through them. I let out a whimper and then a sigh. He got up off the bed to his knees... one hand cupped my mouth and nose.. the other.... still tweaked my nipples. He was rough... and it was hard not to scream.

At some point I got on all fours and took his cock deep into my mouth. He grabbed my ass and pulled me closer to him... getting better access to my pussy. He took handfuls of my ass and pussy and induced agony on my sex. It was almost too much to take... I went between gasping for air, whining, and working his cock over.

Finally he pulls away... satisfied with his abuse and climbed off the bed. He called me to him... so I followed and got to my knees. His cock fit perfectly back into my mouth.... he went back and forth between gentle and forceful... ordering me to not breathe until I came over and over. After I would cum, I would pull back and gasp for breath.

Satisfied with my many orgasms he asked if I was ready for him to fuck me... I let out a desperate yes. He had me get on the bed on my back and spread my legs.... then pulled me closer to where he wanted me. The tip of his cock touched my awaiting cunt.... and I let out a sigh. He glided in with ease all the way to the bottom. I reached my hands above my head.. letting him take my body however he wanted.... enjoying feeling him filling me up.

After a few strokes.. I reached down... and started making tiny circles on my clit.

"I want to feel you cum on my cock.. cum for me", he ordered.

"Hurt me", I begged... in which he happily obliged.

He took the tender folds of my pussy in his fingers... yanking on them... pinching them... making me writhe in pain. Minutes passed and I came again.... but he did not let up. Before I knew it... this sting of pain ripped through me.... and I panicked. It hurt in a different way and I tried to get away. My breathing labored.... and I wiggled... but he grabbed my arm and pushed it into my chest, calming me.

He went back to the business of fucking me... and leaving my pussy alone. It was not long after that he came... and I laid there.... feeling weak. When I gathered myself we crawled up and laid next to each other... warm from all the exercise.

We cuddled some more before he decided I had not came enough. He moved into between my legs and drove his fingers deep inside of my much used sex. I moaned happily.... knowing that it would not be long before his expert fingers worked me into a frenzy. When I got close... my fingers rushed down... to aid him in his work.

I circled the little nub quickly.. my body rigid with the impending orgasm. It was intense... I knew that it was going to be a strong one. Ben was telling me to cum over and over... and finally.... I hit my breaking point. My body shook... hard.... my breathe was ragged... intense does not describe this one. Tears came to my eyes and my chest heaved with fierce breathes.

Ben climbed up beside me.. pulling me into his chest.. comforting me... holding me close to help me compose myself. It was minutes before my labored breathing went back to normal and my trembling stopped.

Soon... and this is where we enter the TMI part... so be forewarned.... we got up to get cleaned up. He had glanced at his hand... which was coated in blood... I am not on my period. While I was doing so... the sharp pain returned. I tried hard not to cry. When we got back to the bathroom I asked Ben to look at it. I laid back, spreading my legs... fearful of what he was going to find.

He pulled the fold back.. looking deep inside.... he found a sizable cut that was bleeding. He felt terrible... and I reassured him that it was okay.. even if I was a bit freaked out. I was not made... I was more upset that the healing would take a couple days which meant... no sex.

I also had him take a picture so that I could see the laceration . It doesn't look terrible.. but it I am going to have to stay on top of keeping it clean so it doesn't get infected. Needless to say.. it is slightly painful. Having rough sex can be hazardous!

just when you least expect it

It was late... shower time.. right before bed.. our nightly ritual. We were messing around after getting washed up.. playing around with each other.... or should I say.. I was antagonizing him. I tapped him on the forehead... he retaliated by grabbing my arm and swatting my butt; not hard.. just a playful little tap. I felt a twinge.. and knew I wasn't going to stop... it would lead to more.

I did it a few more times.. and with each time.. he was more forceful... pulling my arm up higher and higher behind my back... smacking my ass a bit firmer. Before I knew it.... he had a good hold on me... pushed me up against the wall of the shower.... and started spanking me pretty hard.

I welcomed his assault... feeling the slight burn of the spanking and pulling of my arm. It was all kind of sudden.... but I was loving it... the unexpected. Within seconds I felt his fingers slide into my cunt from behind... filling me up... aggressively sliding in and out with such vigor it took my breath away.

He fingered my pussy hard and fast... not letting me catch my breath... then pulled out smacked me a few more times...before shoving me to the bottom of the tub. His cock penetrated my mouth.. and slammed into the back of my throat. He was brutal... not being easy on me.... as I gagged and fought to gain my composure. He wasn't letting up though.. not till he was ready.

Minutes passed before he left me a heaving mess. I pulled myself together... stood in the warm water for a bit longer.. then left the shower. He had already left the bathroom.. I saw him in the hall area. He glanced at me.. in a kind of cold distant glance... it was kinda strange... and kinda thrilling all at once.

I brushed my teeth and did my before bed stuff then walked into our room.

Ben stood there.. completely naked... the warm glow of a candle filling the room. He reached out for me... cupping my neck and pushing me to the ground. Once again, I found my mouth filled with his cock.... penetrating my lips and back to my throat. He was not gentle... and I adored him for that.

Before long I was bent back over the end of the bed.... him straddling my face... riding me with no abandon. There was something beyond erotic to me about it... the way it felt to be there underneath him almost as he took what he needed from me. I was a puddle without a doubt.

While he did so.. he told me to rub my pussy... make it cum he instructed... and so while he was brutally fucking my face... I was vigorously attacking my clit.... moments away from explosion.

What lay ahead for me... left my face wet with tears.... and my cunt aching for more.

need

I need you to hurt me.... to feel the sweetness that only that pain brings me.

I need you to not care... to have the cold, stern face of a man that is after pleasure.. and that alone.

I need you to break me... to rock me to the core and leave me a crying mess.

I need you to be in control.... and ignore my pleadings... my begging to stop.

I need you to mark me.... to see the evidence of your dominance over me days later.

I need you to push me.... and keep going till you've forced me to the edge and then over.

I need you to take me places I haven't been in a while.... to remind my body that it is your's... and if you choose to inflict pain on it... you will.

I need you to have your hands about my neck..... to feel that rush of air refilling my gasping lungs.

I need you to spank me... to refocus me... to send each nerve in my body on end because of the assault.

I need you to pull my hair... to force me to be the slut you know I am.

I need you to sink your teeth into my flesh.... to make me cry out.

I need you to collar me.... to remind me of my sexuality... that submitting is what I want.. what I need... what I lust for.

I need you to take me there.... and be there to hold me when I come back.

my first flogging

I had anticipated my first flogging from the moment we knew we were getting them. I could not wait to finally know what it felt like to be be whipped. I would sit and daydream about it... think about it as I fell asleep.. little did I know what I imagined would not quite be what it would truly end up being.

The two floggers came in a poster tube. I was stoked when I opened the front door and it was sitting there... waiting. I took them in and opened the container anxiously. I pulled them out... feeling the material against my skin. I felt giddy... just like a little girl in a candy store that just got the best lollipop in the place.

I put my leg out in front of me and lightly swung the leather against my skin. I shivered... loving the way it felt. I hit myself again... a little harder. I grinned and couldn't wait till Ben would be home.

I picked up my phone and texted him that they had arrived... I got a,"Yay!" back.

Waiting for him to get home seemed like it took forever. I was so anxious.. I almost could not take it. When he got home I rushed over and hugged him then hurried off to grab the off our bed. I showed them to him with such glee it's almost silly to admit.

We showered... and then had dinner. He said something about being tired.. and I felt the loom of disappointment coming over me. I tried not to get discouraged and be understanding... but it was hard.

When we finally went to bed... I got what I had wanted.

I walked into the room before him. He walked up beside me and grabbed the corner of the sheet and blanket, yanking them off the bed. He pushed me into a bending position towards the bed, my ass exposed. My heart raced with excitement as I saw him out of the corner of my eye picking up the red leather flogger.

"Is that what you want?", he asked... I replied eagerly with a yes.

He started gently... warming me up. He laid the material on my back and drug it down the length to the bottom of my spine. My whole body seemed to melt... I was already breathing heavily... feeling the wetness grow between my legs.

Slowly he started to smack my back. It felt amazing.... in a relaxing sort of way. What I really wanted was to really just jump in head first... I'm sure he was doing it the best way though. His speed and intensity deepened... to the point that with every hit my body flinched... and I let out whimpers. He hit my back... and my ass... and my legs... and all it made me want was more.

He crawled around to in front of me with his cock standing at attention.. waiting for some attention. I greedily wrapped my mouth around it.... sucking vigorously... not giving any time to warm up. Ben went back to flogging my back.... picking up a rhythm as he hit me.

He told me to rub my clit and that I did. My body was trembling with arousal.. so much so I knew that I couldn't contain it. Almost like he knew, he ordered me to cum for him. With this order an orgasm erupted through my body... but I didnt stop... nor did he... I wasn't going to let go of the intensity.

Unfortunately, Ben had other plans. He pulled away from me... and went back behind me. He slapped my back really hard with the flogger then plunged his cock deep inside of my drenched pussy. I let out a scream of relief. We began fucking each other hard... me rubbing my clit still.. him still whipping me. It was fantastic to say the least.

I'm not sure how long he fucked me... I felt like I had went to another place and time... completely focused on the the pain and pleasure that was my very being at that moment. I did feel when he left me... the emptiness, only I did not have time to linger on it... as he was still flogging me.

I cried out for him to hit me harder.. I wanted him to push me... to push me hard. So hard that I would not be able to stand when he was done with me. I wanted that so very badly. He complied... making my skin burn under the whip. By then I had orgasmed several times... Im sure the bed and floor were soaked.

And then... nothing... no whipping... for a split second. Then out of the silence he grabbed a handful of hair and buried himself deep inside me again. He tugged hard... pounding away at my body. It was intense... it was just pure raw sexual heat that was between us. I wanted him to cum as badly as I did not want him to stop.

I made a quick decision and begged for him to cum in me. A few more thrusts.... he barked at me to cum with him... another thrust... and it was like hitting a wall... that daze... that sense of disorientation. We exploded together... both our bodies trembling from the onslaught.... breath shallow... hearts racing. It could not have been more perfect.

We collapsed into bed... holding each other close. I remember snuggling up to him... his arm wrapped around me holding me close to him, knowing that I could not love him more- feeling like the most special girl in the world.

thats music to my ears

You know, it seems to me that since I stumbled across D/s that I see it in everything. Undertones of dominance and submission. I see it in movies and tv shows... I hear it in music... I see it in the way people interact.

I was driving to work this morning and was trying to find something to listen to... I rustled through my CDs and came across a burned CD that a good friend of made for me at Christmas. Admittedly I only like one song on the CD... but its a good one. I popped it in and fast forwarded to the song.



I started singing... and thinking about the words... and they just screamed submissive to me. Maybe I'm just reading into it... (which is very likely, just hearing what I want to hear)... but it just seems that way to me.

Of course it would be a male submissive... but still... submissive just the same. Its a sweet song in a strange context.... I'm not sure how I would feel if someone called me a pistol. BUT, it can totally be a good thing..... being feisty and all. I know that I can be a fireball in everyday life. *grins*

So.. hopefully you listened to it... am I crazy? I'm I hearing it right? I guess it doesn't really matter. That is one of the wonderful things about music is that it can be what you want it to be even if the artist intended it to be. I know that I personally attach myself to songs. If I hear certain songs it can transport me back to a certain time in my life.. or even one single moment.

I'm not sure if I am alone in that as well.... hopefully not... I like to think that I identify with people in my strange little ways. It's always nice to be understood.... for someone to just "get" me. Just to have those moments where they are like, "I totally know what you're talking about". Being told no, and that I'm crazy just doesn't rank high on my list (hehe).

So yeah, whatcha think? AM I crazy? (maybe just a little huh?)

lesson learned

We were laying in bed... blissfully enjoying the silence and laying next to one another. Ben rolled over on this side facing me and started running his hands over my stomach. It wasn't a comforting rub.. more of a sexually charged rub. Every inch of my body began to tingle.

I touched his skin softly.. gently caressing the inside of his hips feeling his hardness grow against my leg. I love that build up... that feeling.

His hands roamed till they reached my nipple and tugged on them. A sigh escaped my lips. His grip grew harder and harder as the seconds ticked by almost to the point that I could no longer handle it. The pain was intense, yet I was basking in the pleasure of it.

Finally he released it leaving me panting. I reached for his cock and started stroking it feeling how thick and hard it was. His hips moved with the slow rhythm of my hand. I felt his hand leave my skin and grab my hand. He guided it to my pussy and told me to rub my clit. I, of course, did as I was told.

From there his hand moved up to my face using his fingers to feel every crevice of it. Slowly he draped his hands over my mouth and as he did this I sucked in some air knowing what was coming.

He clamped his hands over my mouth and nose and whispered to me to hold it. I calmed my body in hopes of holding my breath for a while but I wasn't ready for it yet. I started to squirm under his hand and pulled back gasping for air.

I still continued to rub my clit as told and recomposed myself. He again covered my face and told me to hold it longer. I did my best and held it a bit longer. Again, I freed myself and gasped for air. He did this several more times.... restricting my breath.

When he was done toying with me he laced his fingers through my hair and pulled me up some leaving his cock exposed to for my mouth. I readjusted my body... started rubbing my sopping wet pussy, and then took him into my mouth.

From here he took over rubbing my clit and started pounding my face. I was gagging and trying helplessly to breathe. I was fighting his hand to pull myself off.. half wanting to and half not.

Before I knew it... I was laying on my back with his forearm in my neck. I was honestly kind of shocked.

"Don't pull away from me. Are you going to be a good girl now?" he hissed in my face.

I nodded and said yes. He pulled me back up... and went back to his business of fucking. This time he payed extra attention to my clit till I could barely stand it... I was pulling away again... this time with my hips.

Again, I found myself on my back... his forearm more on my neck this time pressing down hard.

"I guess you didn't hear me. I told you not to pull away... do you need to be taught a lesson?" he asked.

I again nodded and said no.

He grabbed my hair and pulled me to him furiously rubbing my clit... I was in overload.. and pulled away again. This time, though... I was on my back but he was full on my throat cutting off my air.

"I guess you do need to be taught a lesson... you should be grinding your cunt on my hand not pulling away", and with that he turned me over and slammed his dick inside of me. He fucked me vigorously with no remorse... to be honest... I loved every minute of it. I could feel his palm digging into the small of my back and his other hand holding my hair using it like a rein.

Once he got his fill... he pulled out and slapped me on the ass as he grabbed my hair again. He climbed off the bed and had me lay on my back with my head hanging over the side of the bed. I open my mouth and he slides in all the way to the hilt.

He instructs me to rub my clit again... that he wants me to cum while I'm sucking his cock. I work my magic... making tiny circles with two fingers. I can feel the orgasm getting close.

"Don't you dare cum with out asking to do so... you better beg me to cum", he said.

Ben reached down and pinched a nipple... till it was finally too much to take. I moved my head and began to plead to be able to cum. I don't know how many times I asked... I came really close to pushing myself over the edge before he told me actually cum. But he finally said yes and the wave of my orgasm consumed my body.

He didn't give me any time to pull myself back together so to speak and was pulling me off the bed before I could even think. He bent me over and slammed his cock back into me. Like before he wasn't going easy on me and fucked me hard. It was only minutes before he was cumming in my pussy.

Ahh the joy of submission. :-)

waiting

"What would you do if I were wearing my collar and on my knees waiting for you at the back door when you came home?"

This is the text I sent to Ben around 2:00 pm on Saturday. I didn't expect a immediate response knowing he was most likely busy at work. I had hoped it did peak his interest. By the time I got home and was relaxing... I still had not received a response. I was certainly dismayed about this... but remained patient.

"Do you know anyone that wants to buy a 52" tv? All it needs is a new bulb.", was the response I got.

"No, I don't. But this isn't exactly the response I was expecting.", I replied.

"If you were doing that, Id treat you like the fuck slut you want to be". His response was so confident.. and so unlike him that it surprisingly shocked me. He is a confident man but doesn't really talk like that. I was instantly turned on.

I spent the next couple hours... dreaming of when he'd get home... what it was going to be like.... I was so horny. I really wanted to make myself cum but decided against it.... that would take away from later.

Finally a little after six he called to tell me he was on his way home. We talked about our days briefly and then I told him I would see him when he got home. Once off the phone... I raced into the shower. I cleaned up quickly... making sure to save the time for shaving so that I'd be perfectly smooth for him.

When I was done I brushed my teeth and went into our bedroom picking out a pair of see through black thongs and dug out my collar. My hair was down and curly looking... still wet from the shower. I know how much he likes my hair down... so that is what I went with.

Now all there was left was to wait. I sat on the couch passing the time on the internet... waiting for the tell tale sign that he was home. Suddenly I heard the beep from the car alarm. I put the laptop down and raced to the dining room knowing that if I wasn't on my knees when he came in... it would ruin the effect.

I made it in time... and placed myself on the rug with my hands behind my back. He turned the corner... we made eye contact and I blushed. I wasn't completely sure what to expect... and so... I blushed. He walked towards me... emptied his pockets onto the table. I didn't move... not sure what to do. He stepped closer to me... his groin in my face. I felt exposed.... almost naked in front of him completely dressed. I loved it.

I felt his fingers lace through my hair and gently pulled my head back kissing me deeply. I kept my hands behind my back but took in every ounce of his attention. Our kiss ended more quickly than I had hoped.... but that meant more good stuff was to come.

He walked slowly beside me... loosening his grip on my hair but did so in a fashion that meant I should turn around and follow him. I did so... then was slowly led by Ben out of the dining room into the living room. He was so careful not to yank my hair or walk too quickly as I am not accustomed to crawling.

Once we got to the little area that lead into our room he stopped and let go of my hair. I sat back on my legs leaving my hands dangling beside me. He ventured into our room and began undressing. I marveled at him... he seemed so sexy to me... course he always does. But more so than usual. It amazes me that he compliments me so well in every way.

After stripping he came out and wrapped his hands around my hair again and led me into the bedroom. At the foot of the bed he pulled me to my feet then pushed me gently to the bed. I bent at my hips... pushing my ass out. He used his foot to spread my legs farther apart. His hand caressed my ass... then lifted in the air and came back down on my bare skin with a sting. I yelped.

Then another... and another.. over and over alternating sides. I knew my ass had to be bright red from the growing pain. I breathed deep through my screams and tried to keep myself as composed as I could. I knew it wouldn't be long and there would be tears welling up in my eyes.

Luckily for me he stopped but slammed his cock into my ever so wet pussy. This was a much better replacement. I almost purred with pleasure enjoying him pounding away at me. However, this was short lived as he pulled out, grabbed my hair again, and pulled me to my knees. He guided my head onto his cock.

I sucked away wanting to please him to my fullest extent. I took him deep into my mouth then he pulled away and pushed my head forward towards his balls. I did not miss a beat and took them into my mouth.. gently sucking as he stroked his cock. I love when he does that. I cannot explain the pleasure it brings me to know he's stroking for me.

He pulled me off and put his knee up on the bed and told me to suck his cock again. I did so.. but this time my hair was in the way. I grabbed for his hand and pulled it to my head asking for him to hold my hair.

"Did you just tell ME what to do?", his voice rumbled, and I felt like I had made a big mistake. He got behind me pulled me up and bent me over. I felt his hand slap my ass hard... then again.

"You don't tell me what to do. I'm the one who tells YOU what to do", he said while he spanked me hard.

"I'm sorry!", I cried out.

"Sorry?", he slapped again hard, "You're sorry, huh?".

I pleaded that I was sorry and he told me to go get my 'own damn hair tie'. I stumbled out of the room hurrying to get a hair tie. When I reached the bathroom I pulled my hair up quickly and went back to the room.

He pushed me forward and slammed his cock back into me. He fucked me hard as I cried out in pleasure. Mid stroke he grabbed my collar and used it to fuck me deeper. I felt a little dizzy as the air was harder to take in. I reached back, touched his hand, and he let up. With this he pulled out and stepped back, letting me know that I was to get on my knees.

I fell quickly to my knees trying to make up for my lack of judgment. I sucked his hard wet cock into my mouth again... moving it in and out. My hand found its way up to his balls and squeezed them softly. Ben's hips were quickening... I could tell that he wanted to cum so I made sure not to stop what I was doing.

"I could so cum right now.", he said with his hand on the back of my head. I personally was not ready for him to yet, but if that is what he wanted, then it was going to happen. Fortunately for me he stopped again and took my pussy from behind. I bucked my hips feverishly against him feeling him hit the bottom.

"Do you want to taste my cum?", he said still fucking me.

"Yes", I cried out.

"Beg me. Beg to taste my cum".

And with that I started to beg... I pleaded for him to let me taste him... to swallow every last bit. It seemed like an eternity before he agreed to let me do so.. but when he did, I fell to the floor and sucked like there was no tomorrow waiting for my reward of a job well done.

Before I knew it, he was filling my mouth with his cum. I swallowed every drop... feeling his hands on the back of my head... his body shudder as he emptied into my willing hole. It wasn't over though.... not like I thought it would be.

I pushed myself up and sat on the edge of the bed. He towered over me and pushed me up towards the middle of the bed which meant only one thing.... I was going to get to cum! I laid back back and spread my legs. He moved in between them and rubbed his thumb over my clit. My body shivered and I damn near came just by that.

I pushed his hand down encouraging him to slide his fingers inside of me and with that.. he slipped them in. I felt so full I let out out a sigh of ecstasy. He went to work on my pussy... moving his fingers around inside.. hitting my G spot. My hands wandered down and I rubbed my clit slowly. It wasn't going to take much to push me over the edge.

My hips started to move with each stroke of my pussy.... my breathing became labored and I could tell that I was close.

"Cum for me", he commanded. I almost exploded at that... I love when he tells me to orgasm for him. I rubbed my clit harder wanting to just for him and all of a sudden a huge wave rushed over me. I squeezed my legs together holding onto the feeling... not wanting to let it go.

Generally Ben will make me orgasm more than once but that night I don't think I could have handled it. He knows my body that well, too. He knows when I can take more... and when I've hit my limit. So with that... he crawled up by me and I curled into his arms so we could bask in the wonderfulness that is our sex.

just what I wanted

Saturday night I was feeling particularly rambunctious. Ben had worked late, and I was home.... horny and anxious for him to get there. I texted him and said hello... said I was ready for him to get home. He responded that he wanted to be as well.. in which I replied that I was horny. He responds... I love you. What the fuck? I was bummed he didn't want to play my game of getting each other riled up. Who answers that comment with I love you?

When he finally got home we talked about what to have for dinner. We decided to go and get something non-healthy cause neither of us wanted to actually cook. After returning with our food we settled down to watch Mina's First Time... if you haven't seen this movie... do. It was way better than I expected.

When the movie was over we sat and talked a bit and then I brought up the text. I was feeling playful so I told him I wasn't going to talk to him. We joked a bit and then got up. He turned off the light in the living room and said something about a shower. I didn't want to take a shower yet, but decided to just go along with it.

I kept my mouth shut as we stripped and did our pre-shower rituals (we're weird... we have routines for EVERYTHING). I climbed into the shower and started washing up. Ben came in very shortly and said something to me. I just smiled and looked off.

"Oh, you're not going to talk to me huh?", he said slightly amused. I just glanced back over at him smiling and kept washing.

I finished showering before him but always linger to stand in the warm water till after he gets out. I started to poke at him playfully and giggling. He rinsed off... and I kept bugging him... thoroughly enjoying myself.

This is where he grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled my head gently sideways. I was quite happy about this.... it was about time he figured out what I wanted. He pulled me to him and got within inches of my lips... tempting me.. I tried to lean forward to kiss his lips but he'd just pull himself back.

He teased me like this for a few minutes then dove in for a deep kiss. I sighed with relief and pleasure... feeling the breath leave my body. He broke the kiss before I was ready and I let out a whine.

He moved his arm to be able to control me better... pushing me slowly to my knees. His wet cock stood up in front of me... taunting me... making me want to suck it into my mouth. I didn't move... he was going to make me.... even if its what I really wanted.

"Suck my cock", he ordered and pushed my head towards it. I felt the grip on my hair become tighter urging me to do as I was told. And so I did. I wrapped my lips around it... taking his cock all the into my mouth.

He told me he was going to fuck my face and to be ready. He glided in and out a few times then violently slammed his hips against my face over and over... pounding me with such force I wanted just to stop and take deep breaths... but I also didn't want him to stop. I was torn.

Finally it stopped and he pulled me to my feet. I looked him in the eye.... feeling very submissive. He had this look on his face... such confidence.... such command... it was such a turn on. He kissed me deeply again then pushed me back to my knees.

Again, he shoved his cock in my face and obediently took it into my mouth. It seemed only a few minutes passed before he pulled back from me. I didn't look up. He pulled the shower open and stepped out... I stayed on my knees till he pulled the curtain back shut.

My mind was aflutter with thoughts of what was going to happen next. As the warm water cascaded down my skin, I shut my eyes and dreamed of what I wanted. Shortly the water started running cold and so I turned it off and opened the curtain.

There he stood.... completely naked... I couldn't possibly want him more. I squeezed the water out of my hair began drying off. I wasn't even half finished when he grabbed the back of my neck and forced me to my knees again. I took him in hungrily wanting every inch in my mouth... to make him ache to want to be inside of me.

Apparently I did my job because he grabbed my hair and pulled me to my feet again... turning me around. He pushed my head down so that I was bent at the waist... I grabbed to side of the tube to steady myself. He used his foot to spread my feet further apart then slammed his cock deep inside of me. I let out a moan that almost sounded like a scream. The sudden fullness was wonderful and I didn't want him to stop.

He pounded into me for a bit then pulled out, grabbed my hair, and once again I found myself kneeling before him. He instructed me to taste how good my pussy was and slide slowly into my mouth. I have always loved the taste of my pussy on his cock and so I made sure to taste every bit that was given to me.

Ben had enough and pulled me to my feet again... our lips connected for a few seconds and then he pulled back. I too stepped back.. which was a mistake. He turned me around and had me bend over again. I, of course, thought I was going to feel him slip inside of me... yet instead I was met with a hard slap on my ass.

"That was for moving", he said... almost cold.. then wrapped his hands around my wet hair pulling me up.
"Where's your collar at?".

I told him where it was and he grabbed the back of my neck. I begged him to let me to put some deodorant and he obliged then disappeared out of the bathroom. He re-entered holding my collar. Ben turned me around and wrapped it around my neck... fastening it tightly around my neck. Any tighter, and it would have cut off my airflow. He turned it so that the D-ring was in the back then grabbed it...dragging me behind him.

This is where the real fun began. He shoved me over and slammed into me again... though it was short lived and more of a tease than fulfillment. Again, on my knees sucking his cock which I totally don't mind, I'm a bit of a cock whore. He pulled away and climbed on the bed.. laying on his back. He told me to come to him and suck his cock. I obeyed.

As I was sucking, he told me to go find the tightest pair of panties I had and bring them back to him. I stopped and crawled off the bed to the dresser. I sat on my knees digging through trying to find the right pair.

Before I knew it, he was behind me... hair in hand and slid back into me... distracting me from my task. What a distraction! A few pumps later, he pulled out and I went back to digging. He went back to his spot on the bed.

When I found the correct pair, I crawled back on the bed and brought them to him. He told me to put them on and pick out one of the two vibrators he had pulled out of the drawer. He said after I picked one, to insert it in my pussy and use the panties to hold them in place. I did so. I could feel the vibration deep inside me... and it was hard to be sitting up like he wanted. He had me lift up a little and he giggled the vibrator. I screamed with pleasure... my pussy was throbbing and oh so wet. I could have easily cum.

Next he told me to go to the kitchen and make him half of a drink and bring it back. I got up and disappeared into the kitchen to get his drink.... breathing all the way as to not cum when I was walking.

This was the first time he'd ever done this kind of control... but I was loving every minute of it. I returned with his drink and he took a long sip, then laid back on the bed with his legs hanging over the side. He told me to suck him again.... and I did so... panties shoving the vibrator deeper inside of me. I was so close to cumming.. I could barely stand it.

After a few minutes he pulled me onto the bed.... he started pushing the vibrator deeper... in and out. I screamed out.... any minute Id just loose it. Then he decided to add the other one inside of my pussy. I begged him not to... but he did it anyways.... I came instantly... it was too much to handle. I wiggled back but he followed.... not giving up on tormenting me. He tapped them both... bringing me over the edge again. I was in heaven.

Ben told me since I liked those two inside my pussy that maybe I would like three of them. I told him no... but he wasn't having it. He had me lay back and spread my legs then pulled my panties to the side and wedged his way into my already fully pussy. I let out a scream... it was all overwhelming... but not in a bad way.

He moved in and out slowly and I think he maybe have did this four or five times before I came again..... it was explosively. He seemed very pleased with this orgasm and pulled out of me. He slipped the panties off and pull the vibrators out. I let out a sigh of relief... it was nice to a break from the intensity.

Ben turned me on my side and slide back inside of me. It was wonderful to be filled again. I was so wet I could feel it rolling down my thighs. He wasn't going to waste time though... he was ready to cum.

He began fucking me hard... holding my leg as he did so. Before long... he finally exploded inside my pussy... filling me with his wonderful cum. I purred with pleasure.. knowing that I had made him feel that good.

He slipped out of me... and curled up next to me. Our legs intertwined and we laid there in our after sex glow... petting each other.... eyes shut.. enjoying a wonderful moment.

black collar

So it came in the mail yesterday. I was on my way home talking to Ben on my cell when he said someone was knocking on the door. I got excited and said it might be the UPS dropping off the package... indeed it was! I told him not to open it till I got home, just because I wanted to open it together.

I got home and hugged and kissed him.... as my eyes fixed on the little white box on the counter. I picked it up, grin across my face and opened it quickly. In the box laid my new one inch leather collar.

Now I know the symbolism that a collar holds in the lifestyle... and I completely respect that. I hope that I do not offend anyone for what this piece of leather holds for me. To me... its all sexual. The sexual response I get from the idea of wearing a collar is overwhelming. It makes me feel vulnerable... and I like that.

I have been toying with the idea of getting a collar for a while now. I just recently brought it up to Ben... he, of course, just said alright. He's kind of to the point like that. I always work it up so much in my head.. sometimes afraid of telling him but always spill it in the end because I trust that he's going to accept anything about me. He always does. Its my own insecurities and I hate that. I'm working on that so in hopes one day I will get over it.

Anyways, I pulled it out of the box and removed it from the plastic. I could feel the wetness between my legs... I wanted it around my neck. I took it with me when I changed out of my work clothes. I put it on and stared into the mirror. It was real... I had a collar around my neck. It was kind of a surreal moment for me. After a minute or two I took it off and carried it around with me for a bit.

Funny thing about it.... I like the noise it makes... the noise that the D ring makes. Isn't that a strange thing to like? I told Ben that... he agreed. I finally took it back to our room and laid it on the dresser.

Later after dinner we took a shower and ended up laying on the bed for a bit. He kept asking what I wanted to do....I kept saying I didn't care. What I should have just said was that I was horny and I wanted to fuck. But- I didn't think the timing was on just yet.

I dug through my panty drawer and pulled stuff out for work in the morning... and also grabbed the matching panties to his favorite cami top. I laid back on the bed.. being playful. He belts out he wants to watch porn on our new tv. I, of course, said it was a good idea and had him pick something out from our collection of movies.

He grabbed it and took it to the living room and I quickly put the cami and panties on. I turned so I could see my ass in the mirror... he walked by while I was doing that... gave me a look and commented, "sexy butt". I just grinned.

I joined him in the living room and we turned the movie on. It ended up being one of the worst porns I've ever seen... but we kept trying. We wasted thirty minutes doing this before we decided to hook the laptop up to the tv and find some porn online. Fantastic idea. The first video we chose was a keeper.

On the screen two brunette chicks were making out... teasing each other's nipples and clits. I leaned against my husband with my back against him. He reached around started rubbing his hand over my hard nipple. I sighed at the touch of his hand and started rubbing his leg.

We kept petting each other, but it didn't take long for this to escalate. All it really took was him reaching in my top and pinching my nipples. I felt a surge between my legs and let him do whatever he wanted.

When he let go I turned around and took his nipple in my mouth... flicking it with my tongue then hungrily sucking it in. I rubbed his hard cock through his jammie pants. He wrapped his arm around and smacked my ass. I moaned and started pulling on his pants... he helped pull them off.

I leaned down and wrapped my lips around his cock as he laced his fingers in my hair. I sucked up and down.. feeling him guiding my speed with his hand. He slapped my ass with his free hand... over and over. In my head I wanted him to stop.... but in the same thought, didn't want him to.

His voice rumbled in my ears, "Fuck me!".

And like a good girl, I got to my feet and straddled him with my back facing him. I bounced up and down on his cock, taking him deep into my pussy. I love feeling him inside of me.. the mere thought is almost enough to make me cum.

He grabbed a handful of my hair again and bent me back as I rode him and grabbed my breast. Ben hadn't been fucking me long, but I knew I was going to cum soon. I slowed my pace and decided to rock my hips back and forth. The tip of his cock was hitting just the right spot. I was so close... I could feel the wave coming up on me.

I bucked harder... wanting to feel that rush. When it hit me... I couldn't breathe.... it was amazing. I kept moving my hips though... wanting to prolong my orgasm. But, it subdued and I climbed off him to taste my cum on his cock. I love tasting myself on him... it truly is the best.

We went back and forth with me sucking his cock and fucking him for a while. I was horny but feeling playful still. I was between his legs... he was close... he wanted to cum. He told me to fuck him again... I said no. He grabbed my hair and pulled me close.. "Is said fuck me.". He was stern and it only fueled the fire.

I obeyed and slid back down on his cock. I only got a few strokes in when I stood up and started walking to our room, glancing back at him. He followed... I stood in the door way trying to tease him. He walked up behind me and gave me a nudge forward. Then he pushed me down onto the bed, feet still spread and on the floor. Grabbing my hips he pulled me into him... he fucked me with a fury. He knew what he wanted and he was going to take it from me.

I begged him not to cum yet.... and luckily for me.. he obliged. He pulled me up and pushed me onto my knees where I took him back into my mouth. I looked up at him... sucking him slowly. I stopped... still looking at him... stood.. kissed him deeply... then whispered that I wanted to try on my new collar.

He told me to get it... and I handed it to him and turned around. He strapped it around my neck with such force... I cant describe the feeling that washed over me. I was wet before... but now I was practically dripping. He buckled it as tight as he could get it without choking me then turned me around. He grabbed the D ring and yanked me to my knees then brought his cock to my face.

It was exactly how I thought it would be... and it was wonderful! I could feel his power over me... and I was loving every second.

He didnt let me suck him long before he barked at me to stand and bend over. I did so quickly and felt him enter me hard. His hand slipped between my skin and the collar and pulled back. He used the collar as leverage to fuck me harder. I was in heaven. I had pictured exactly that in my head... and never told him.... no words I tell ya. I was starting to gasp for air.... and held on as long as I could before I felt lightheaded then gave him my signal.

I could tell he was so close... he had been for some time... but had been holding off at my request. I asked again for him not to cum, but he had been waiting long enough I guess. A few more good thrusts and he exploded inside of me.

I pulled forward and crawled onto the bed. He followed and sat between my legs where his hand found my clit. He wasted no time and rub feverishly. Again I had another powerful orgasm. I tried to wiggle away but Ben grabbed my leg and kept me from moving.

He kept rubbing... and another orgasm came. I was so sensitive by then... it wouldn't take much. I tried again to get away... but it was not going to happen. A fourth and final orgasm hit and yanked hard to get back... I could not take it any longer.

He crawled up behind me and held me. It was a great moment- all laid out there, collar at my neck... in the arms of the man I love. It doesn't get any better than that!

the kinkier side of me

I guess that Ben and I are what some would call weekend ass slapers. Im not sure that truly captures the essence of us, though. I have felt my submissive urges my whole life. Both long term relationships I had before Ben I was always in control... I ran everything. It was completely unsatisfying to me.

Now saying that, I dont mean that I feel the need to have someone run my life for me. I am completely capable of doing this. It works for some... but would not for me. I just have an incredible urge to be controlled sexually. It excites me like nothing else.

It wasnt until right before I met Ben that I allowed myself to explore these feelings. I had met a guy named Joe who brought this out in me... that helped me come out of my shell so to speak. It was what I have come to call my sexual awakening.

He and I became fuck buddies.. but only on a kinkier side of things. We never once had any sort of vanilla sex... and I loved it. He would tie me up and use me.. and it blew me away how much I truly loved it. I felt so safe with him... and had a level of trust that surprises me even to this day. I just knew in my heart he would never harm me.

We had some fun times... ones I will never forget. I will always be thankful to him for helping me in a sense. It definitely helped me in my current relationship. It made it easier to finally tell someone what I needed... the deep dark desires I was always afraid to tell.

Fortunately for me, Ben is very much into this. He is very dominate in bed. You would never guess it if you met him on the street... he's so easy going and nice. This all changes when we're alone and he has my face shoved into the pillow. :-)

Our kink came into play pretty early on. We play quite often. There is generally some sort of dominance play in most of our sex.. such as a slap on the ass.... pulling my hair hard.... and lots of breath play (which is something exclusive to our relationship.. I had never trusted anyone that much until him). This is why I dont really feel like we are weekend ass slapers. We just arent lifestylers.

I find people who live that lifestyle so fascinating, as you can probably see by the blogs I frequent. I have such respect for the way they live... it fascinates me on a level I cannot describe. I by no means think I am right for this... but I think the reason why it interests me so is because I want to understand it. I want to know why someone would do this.... though, Im sure I will never have this questioned answered as I have been searching for it some time. Perhaps if I knew and understood.... it would loose intrigue for me... but perhaps not.

The thing that stands out so much to me is the level of respect and support in this community. Its very much live and let live... and I love that. It speaks volumes about who they are... and for this I have very deep respect. Its so hard these days to find anyone who does not pass judgment on someone else. It truly amazes me.

So maybe Im wrong in my assumption of what we are or what we do. But it works for us.