Just so you know...

Sometimes I think that the frustration builds up... so much that no matter how many times you notch away at it.... it continues it's upward climb. Sometimes I think the only way to actually bring it to it's knees is to bring the GIRL to her knees.... till she's a puddle of tears... but somehow- it frees her.

I think I'm kinda at that point. The point where I just need to be reduced to a pile of flesh. I can tell... because I'm sensitive to everything. Things that wouldn't normally irritate me... have been. I need a healthy dose of Ben beating my ass to bring balance back to me.

I need him to... beat me... push me... take from me... and then.. put me back together... all fresh.... and free.