this girl's life

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all I have to say is.. thank goodness I STAND at work

Sooooo Ben apparently felt the need to bring back out BDSM with fury. We haven't really done much extreme stuff lately.. something that I was really missing.. as it does help keep me grounded. But what can you do? Life happens... you just have to make the effort to keep it up. I mean, I couldn't really remember the last time he flogged me. I guess I could go back through my archieves and see.. but I think that may have made me sad. I think that this whole IUD really put a big strain on us both... but anyways!

Last night... one word to describe it... WOW. It was intense and moving and grounding... well I could go on and on trying to describe it.

We had went to take a shower early in the evening... around sevenish. I had went into the bathroom to do my preshower ritual. I always make sure there are no stray hairs around my eye brows and such... so I was doing this.. when Ben came up beside me. He wrapped his arm around my neck pulling me close to him then began spanking me over and over.

Honestly, I've become tolerance for pain is not what it once was. It is amazing to me how quickly it goes away. So the blows to my ass were not comfortable to say the least, but I will tell you this.... I was wet... instantly.

Before he finished he leaned into me... growling into my ear...

"After our shower.. I'm going to whip you... hard. Now go start the shower".

I did as I was told and got into the shower. I helped wash his body.. completely turned and aching to feel him inside me. After he was done washing, he shoved me to my knees and fucked my face. When he got his fill, he left me wanting more.

I finished showering and got out.. dried off and did my after shower stuff.. hurrying so that I could actually finish before he came to drag me into the bedroom. When I entered the bedroom I went to my knees again.... taking him deep into my mouth... though this didn't last long.

He pulled me to my feet and shoved me over the bed. I felt the flogger slap against my back... hard... unforgiving. His assualt was the same.. never letting up... and for the first time ever... brought tears to my eyes. Not just the watery, welling up of tears... this was full on sobbing... and all I could think was that it hurt... and that I hoped that he would not stop.

He switched up a little and had me suck his cock while he flogged me... this time he spoke... mostly to amuse himself I'm sure.

"Know what my goals are tonight?.... Well do you?... HMMM??"

All I could say was I dunno in between having my face fucked.

"Well one is that I'm going to have you begging for more and the other is... I'm going to bruise you tonight".

This of course made me even more wet. He didn't let up... he flogged me.. my back.. my legs.. my ass... and fucked my face.. forced me to make myself cum over and over to the pain he inflicted on me. I may have been crying.. but I was in pure bliss.

Then. He stopped.. leaving the flogger on my back... and told me not to move. I made sure not to move an inch. I heard him leave the room and go into the kitchen in which he was rattling around in the drawer... I felt a sense of panic come over me... knowing that that must only mean he was after a spoon.

I was right.... he smacked me with it over and over.. which made me cry more. He later told me that he wasn't actually hitting me that hard... but it sure as hell felt like it. He hit my ass then began moving down my legs till he got to my feet. I freaked and pulled away.. falling to the ground and pulling my legs into me. Not a good idea.

He yanked me up and tossed me onto the bed again and spanked my ass hard. I wasn't going to move again. He went back to work on me with the spoon.. me crying out in agony.... it was not pleasant... but.... I would so do it again. Funny how that works.

Finally he decided to fuck me... and kept flogging me. Before I knew it... fucking my ass came into play... and he was deep inside my ass... claiming my body.

So yeah.. it was freaking amazing... and seriously.. its a good thing I don't sit at work.. that would have been interesting. I have this amazing bruise on my ass with stripes from the spoon. I do like the way it feels to have to sit.. but doing it all day would have been hard I'm sure.

Ben has never bruised me before... only left red marks... and let me tell ya.... I'm all for it!

100 things about me

I've seen it done on many blogs.. but honestly I've been too lazy to write one. I have extra time today and really want to write a blog.. so here goes.

1. I love the color blue.. any shade really... I always have and have no idea why I'm so drawn to it.
2. Traveling is one of my favorite things to do.. I just don't get to do it enough. There are so many places I want to see before I die... Italy is at the top of that list.
3. I have 2 children from a previous relationship. As of right now we have no plans on having anymore.
4. I'm a cake decorator. I absolutely love it... I've always been fascinated by it but never thought I would one day end up doing it. I hope to one day open my own shop.
5. I live in the Northwest... and LOVE it. I have lived down south and in the northeast and would not pick to live anywhere else.
6. I love the sound of rain falling on the roof and ground. It soothing and erotic at the same time.
7. I love rough sex (like you didn't know that already). It gets me going like no other.
8. I lost my virginity at the age of 15 on Valentine's Day.
9. I don't drink much anymore but have lots of drunken stories to tell.
10. I like to bake and cook.. bake more so than the other. I don't get to do it that often though and end up doing tons of it during the holidays.
11. I have 2 half brothers and 2 half sisters from my Dad and 2 half brothers from my Mom that I never speak to. They are all much older than me... the closest one is 14 years older than me.
12. I am not as active in the BDSM community as I would like. We are working on that.
13. I have never been to a play party and am sure that I would feel very intimidated.
14. My favorite food is chicken alfredo... hence why I love going to the Olive Garden.
15. My birthday is very important to me. I always build them up in my head so I'm generally let down. I try hard not to do this... but I can't help myself.
16. I'm a list maker... I make lists at work.. for grocery shopping... for what needs to get done... for vacations. It helps to see my thought process down on paper... and be able to mark things off.
17. I like to vacuum... and hate to do dishes.
18. Ben introduced me to poker.. and I really enjoy it.. even if I'm not that great at it. I wouldn't stand a chance at a casino.
19. Speaking of which.. I am not a gambler.. I can't see throwing away money that I worked hard for even for the chance I could win more.
20. I started learning to drive when I was 9 years old. My mom taught me to shift the gear shift. I was behind the wheel at 12... we didn't live in a city.
21. Being flogged and spanked grounds me. Sometimes I need it to feel not so bratty.
22. I love taking pictures even if I'm not so good at it. I wish I had an eye for fantastic pictures.
23. I enjoy writing... I used to write poetry in high school.
24. I used to play the flute when I was in school. I was 2nd chair almost the whole time. I was in the marching band too... but probably couldn't play anymore.
25. Stand-up comedy is one of my favorite things to watch and hear. I love laughing.
26. I am not ticklish.. many have tried and failed.
27. My biological father died when I was 20. He and I were not close but I was deeply affected by his passing.
28. Ben is my best friend... I have never trusted a man like I trust him.
29. I'm a bit of a tv show junkie... and because a bit obsessive over them.
30. Music is important to me.. there is always a song that will fit the mood I am in... whether it be a relaxed or partying mood.
31. I have been to two other countries besides the one I live in... Canada and Mexico.
32. Sometimes I think I am a sexaholic... I think of sex most of my day and never pass up the opportunity to have it.
33. Chocolate is awesome... I love being able to go to Godiva and buy truffles... I can't remember the last time I did that.
34. I married Ben in Vegas.... and no... not at a drive thru chapel.... It was one of the best days of my life and would not change a thing about it.
35. I love candles... the way the smell.. the glow that comes from them... the mood they can set.
36. My favorite movie is a chick flick.. but I dont care. Its Legends of the Fall.
37. I cry at movies and tv shows.. I try to hide it.. but Ben always knows when I tear up.
38. My toenails are always painted during the summer.. but never pink.
39. I like to swim and miss being able to do so with our long drawn out winters.
40. I have only truly loved two men in my life.
41. Scrabble is one of my favorite games... I have a dictionary that is devoted just to that game that I call my bible.
42. I love the way my husband smells.... his scent is intoxicating. I have never ever been affected by a man like that and I love it.
43. Kissing is one of the best things ever. I love how it takes on different forms... from the sweet soft pecks to the intense passionate make outs.
44. I am addicted to reading blogs. I don't know what it is about them... but I can't get enough.
45. We have three cats... Piggy, Brandi, and Sammie (aka Lil' Wee). I love them all and each has their own distinct personality.
46. I find that I will find something and be obsessive about it for a while then just completely stop doing it... like darts... or playing the Wii..
47. I love snow but could not live somewhere that it snowed all winter long.
48. I like drinking coffee... but it has to be sweet coffee... and flavored... Starbucks is my friend.
49. I think I have an oral fetish... I love going down.
50. I am close to having my AA in business but will probably never finish it.
51. I am a lurker more than anything... I lurk on blogs and Fetlife... mostly because I have nothing to say to what they say... though I wish I did.
52. Going to munches have made me realize how unexperienced I still am after being active for three years.
53. I have come a long way in my life and vaguely remember the girl I once was.
54. I love to shop... but am very picky on what I do actually purchase.
55. Hot showers and baths are theraputic to my soul. I love how it will wash away all the stress I have.
56. I wish I enjoyed wine... I'm jealous of people that have aquired a taste for it.
57. As sad as this is... I feel lost without my cell phone.
58. I don't send out Christmas cards... I think they are a waste of time... but do give them out to my co-workers.
59. Despite it being Ben's favorite holiday.. I am not a fan of Halloween.
60. I have never driven a sports car... I would love to... but I'm sure I'd find a lot of trouble in one.
61. I still look at my engagement and wedding rings and smile... just like I had just got them.
62. I love lotion... and have many favorites.
63. I always change into lazy clothes when I get home.. I want to be relaxed when Im there.
64. I would like to retire in my 50's but am sure that won't happen.
65. I have been friends with my oldest friend for 15 years.
66. I have lived in the same house going on 6 years in July.
67. This is more difficult than I thought... finding things about yourself is harder than it looks!
68. I am a creature of habit... we have the same routines for getting up and going to sleep every day. We rarely ever deviate from that.
69. Change and me are not friends. I don't like change one bit... I get stuck in my ways.
70. I am proud to be an American... and always will be.
71. I am not religious at all... I do not believe in god or that their is a higher being. I did not come to this conclusion lightly.... it was over many years of weighing it in my mind.
72. I was raised Southern Baptist.
73. None of my grandparents are living.
74. My first car was a Dodge 600 SE in which I paid $400 for. I had that car for almost 2 years.
75. I got chicken pox at almost 18 years old... I still have scars from it.
76. I have never broken a bone in my body.
77. I have one tattoo... its on my left shoulder. Its a Chinese symbol that means pleasure. I would like to get one below it that means passion.
78. My favorite season of the year is Fall. I love the crispness of the air... the changing colors on the leaves... its just a great time of the year.
79. I am not a morning person... I hate getting out of bed.
80. I do not sleep well without Ben next to me.
81. I am a task oriented worker..... I don't mind doing customer service but deep down prefer to just be left to what Im doing.
82. As a child I only went on one real vacation... and so I try very hard to make sure my children get to vacation often.
83. We have flannel sheets on our bed right now.
84. I have a bit of a lead foot when it comes to driving... I got 3 tickets within 2 months when I was 18... opps.
85. My favorite flower is a calla lily... doesn't matter the color.
86. I do not watch sports.
87. I prefer to be cold than hot... you can only take off so many clothes before you're naked and still hot.
88. I have never been arrested.
89. My first job was at a fireworks store.. it was way fun.
90. I have never experienced an earthquake or valcano eruption. I have on the other hand lived through a hurricane, tornado, and flood.
91. I find historic stuff fascinating... I've always wanted to see the Mayan temples.... the arcitecture in Rome... the Great Wall of China.
92. I had my first white Christmas this past year.
93. I still look at my wedding pictures... they were amazing.
94. I have been quite the heart breaker... and I don't know how I do it... because I certainly don't mean to.
95. I have always loved the Little Mermaid... I can still watch it and it not get old.
96. I would like to learn how to snowboard or ski.
97. I do not enjoy yard work... I don't like to get out and work in a flower garden.
98. I grew up in southern Alabama... I don't miss the humid summers... but do miss the beaches.
99. No, I don't have an accent... just a few accented words.
100. I can never pick a favorite song... I like too many of them to narrow it down to one.

Sugasm #157

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #158? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
A 2009 Wish For Smut Writers
“Sex bloggers are on the cusp of what I see as being a new kind of sexual revolution.”

Q&A with Domina Doll
“I enjoy teaching others how to explore that aspect of themselves.”

“He kissed the side of my neck, sweeping my long hair out of the way, working his mouth across the side of my neck to press little bites along my collarbone.”

Sugasm Editor
Sex Work And Honesty: When The Truth Hurts

Editor’s Choice
Dictation with Davis

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Sex News, Reviews, & Interviews
Four Seasons Studded And Ribbed Condoms Review
Sari Stripping
Taking action

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Autobiography of a Masturbator: Porn O’Graphicus, Part 6
Banging on the Bongs
Horror Vacui
How NOT to Talk About Size and Sexuality
Lessons I’ve Learned (so you don’t have to )
The Recruiting Process

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Ariel (errotica archives)
da Deflowered HNT
Maria Ford Ripped Open Revealing Breasts in Passion Cove
Meggan Mallone - All Tied Up

BDSM & Fetish
20 Macaroons
Forced bisexuality revisited part 2
KSL Kontest Winner for December
Leaving The Ramrod
My First Cell Popping
Poly Mono Saturated Thoughts
A year of lustful quality

Sex Advice
Anal Sex Precautions

Ask Miss Bliss - My Wife Wants a Threesome With Two Guys
Dear Em & Lo: Help, I Can’t Orgasm with My Boyfriend!

Erotic Writing and Experiences
All woman
And With Your Eyes
Dick Meets Jane…Again
Fire and Ice
If you come to a fork in the road, take it
Last Chance
Middle School Fantasy
A Quick Fuck in a Shadowed Corner
She Walks in Beauty, Chapter 2
Stripper Academy: Visiting Professor
The Summer of Roses
Weasel Journal
The Workout Part One
Your Gorgeous Polish Girlfriend Keeps Calling You Sweetie in Public

my addition

So I was just going through random blogs today and stumbled across something really cool. Over on the left side of my blog you will see my little black box. Basically it starts and you choose between two options... such as... love or money.. which sends you to another and then another. In the end you are sent to a mystery blog.. its rather fun actually because you never know where you will end up!

Here is more details and how you can add it to your blog if you should so choose. :-)

since I've been gone...

I haven't blogged much lately. I know this.... and feel really guilty about it. It's not that I don't want to blog.. its just that I don't have anything to say... and the things I have to write about.. well.. they are things that are kind of hard to do so.

See a lot is going on with ME. Lots of things that aren't that sexy to hear about... so if you don't want to hear about it... stop here... like I said... not so fun.

About two weeks ago Ben and I were having sex... he had already came and was working on giving me one last orgasm. The build was fantastic and the peak even more so, the only thing was... right after the orgasm ended and I was in the bliss state of coming down... he busts out with "is the string supposed to be this long?!" (to my IUD). I, of course, panicked. I went and checked the string and sure enough it was too long... by like three inches. This was a Tuesday night.

So the next day I set up an appointment for Thursday morning. I went in.... before she checked I asked her if I could possibly be pregnant.. she said yes. So she did the exam, said that the IUD looked like it was in place and snipped the string.

She told me to get a pg test at the lab and set up an ultrasound for the following Monday to double check the placement. I took the pg test and headed back to work. They told me the results would be in within thirty minutes.. I waited a little over a hour.

I called and waited on hold for a while... when they answered... it was negative but that it was diluted... to come in to do a morning test. I said screw that and bought my own test... negative.

On Monday I went to my ultrasound that really, really sucked. The technician couldn't tell me anything. What I could see... LOOKED good but what do I really know?

I waited till Wednesday to call... and left a message. I got a call that afternoon.. saying everything was okay, that the IUD had just settled. They normally like the placement to be at the top of the uterus.. but that it was all right.

That was a HUGE relief.... until Monday night.

Once again... we had sex... and the string... is long again...

So I check it... and guess what.. the fucking thing COMES OUT. Now I can't get it replaced for another month... give me a freaking break!

So yeah.. that is where we are... and it sucks.. and its been trying... and stressful. I hate not having sex.. its driving me nuts. So off to other options besides condoms... cause those suck.

So yeah.. nothing fun and sexy to talk about...

Sugasm #156

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #157? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Mouth Music
“Can you feel the heat of my lips taunting you yet?”

4 a.m.
“My mouth craves skin and I dip my head to her shoulder.”

“I want my whisper in your ear to make you shiver”

Sugasm Editor
Sex Work And Honesty: Being Too Honest

Editor’s Choice
To Richard, A Dedication. Confession #205

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Body like a battleaxe
The Fantasy of Infidelity
Hollywood-The Diva Bull Who Hated Condoms
The Making of a Stripper With Benefits
Sex In A Bar Fantasy
Unbidden Fantasies
Your Smug Grin

Sex News, Reviews, & Interviews
Fetish Interview with Mistress160
Immagini di un convento — Sexually Active Nuns
Top Five Tuesday: Our Favorites of 2008!

Sexual Poetry
When I think of her eyes…

BDSM & Fetish
A day in the life…
Donald D.U.C.K.
Energy Independence
Flip the switch, and make it burn…
His piss slut
Pre-Christmas Adventure
Seaside Vacation Spanking with a Switch
Seven In One Day
Short Sweet Visciousness

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Merry Christmas

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
But You Don’t LOOK Gay!
Dirty Boy
Interracial Depth
The Perverted Negress: Origins
This is Your Brain, on Masturbation [podcasturbation]
What Does a Big Penis Feel Like to a Woman?

sex on the brain

My whole sex life.. I've had an impression... this image... or knowledge that has of late been questioned in my mind. I have always thought that men were hornier and thought of sex more than women. This was hard for me to believe since I always thought of it.. a large percent of my day.. how on Earth could a man think of it more? But this is how it seemed. Every where I looked, there were horny men. End of story right?

Not so much.

Ben and I were having a conversation. I asked him if he thought about sex through out his day... like I do. He said not really... which... was hard to swallow (no pun). This cannot be right. The world is geared towards sex... there is really no where you can go.. nothing you can watch... that you won't encounter something sexual.

Even with that... this means.. people think about sex a lot right? Maybe not... maybe Ben is right.. and its all about sex selling. So this leaves me to have to rethink my world. For me to have to be able to deal with sex on the brain. I try very hard not to let it over take me... but it does. There is not a day that passes that its not on my mind and how I want it. Hell, I'd go far enough to say.... there is not a hour that passes.

So does this mean that women want/think of sex more? I mean really.... I want to know. It's not like I can walk up to men I know and ask... that does not seem appropriate. So this really leaves me to throw it out to my readers.. and hopppppppppeeee that you love me enough to give me your thoughts. Maybe even then I wont have a definite answer.. but maybe I'll be closer to something.

So that is it... that's my thoughts on it... let me have it :)

just because

Sometimes we forget... or... actually sometimes we get lazy... and we quite doing the things we used to. For whatever reasons... they just stop happening... time.. money... or just plain being tired.. it just ceases. I can't say I've always been the type of person to go out of my way to show someone how much I care for them... how special they are to me. I would do things.. but they were always for special occasions.

When I met Ben... he had a history of not feeling appreciated... and from there I made a promise to myself to never let him feel that again. Because of this... I would do special things... like leaving notes.. or having him come home to a massage... or even have him come home to me naked. I always (and still do) would make sure to tell him things I appreciated him doing.. or complimented him. It's important to me.

Lately I found myself not doing it as much... mostly because he does not surprise me in the same manner. It is not that he loves me any less than I love him... its not that he doesn't want to... it just comes down to the black and white of it... my dear beloved is not a planner. He doesn't look at the world like I do. He does not spend all day at work planning a special evening.. its just not who he is.

I mean, I wish he were.. but he is just not. He has so many wonderful qualities about him and so this is not a big deal.. at least.. not always. After all.. I am a woman... and can be a bit crazy sometimes. Besides, I am the planner.. I love to do that... and so.. we fit together nicely.

Anyways.. my point. Like I said.. I kind of let it go... and realized today... that its silly. I enjoy surprising him... doing special things for him... because it makes me and him feel good. So... I decided... damn it... it doesn't matter if he doesn't show me the same way that I show him how much I love him. He shows me... every day. He doesn't have to do special things for me.. because he is always doing something.... always there.. no matter what.

So... back on the horse.. :) Ben is coming home to a nice relaxing shower.. followed by a body massage.. and a candlelit dinner. I can't wait to spend the evening with him.... hope everyone else has as good of a Saturday that I'm going to have.

would you rather....

I found this meme on Ms. Inconspicuous's blog... enjoy!

1. Would you rather be stranded on an island alone or with someone you dislike/don't get along with?
Alone for sure.. there is no way I could spend forever with someone that drove me nuts on an island... I think I might end up hurting someone.. and it wouldn't be me

2. Would you rather accidentally walk in on your parents having sex or have them walk in on you?
Oh geez. I say... be walked in on.. there is NO way I want to see my parents having sex.. that just is too much for me to handle. BUT to be all honest, I really don't think they have sex that often anymore.

3. Would you rather be snapped by paparazzi during a nipple slip or while exiting a car with out any underwear?
Totally a nipple slip... the chances of the latter are more possible I suppose since I never wear panties... but whatever.. but then again.. I don't wear skirts either...

4. Would you rather not have sex for two years or not be able to use the Internet for two years?
Oh my. Hands down I'd have to give up the internet... and we all know just how hard that would be... I'm quite addicted to it.... *hangs head in shame* But there is no way in hell I could go two years without sex... I go nuts after two days... I'd never make it. I mean, I've not even went two months without sex since I lost my virginity- k.. that sounds bad.

5. Would you rather find true love or 1 million dollars?
As much as I'd love to have a million dollars... it does make one happy... course, it sure does make life with love so much easier... but to choose between the two... love wins every time.

Bonus (as in optional): If you had to choose *one* sexual position for the rest of your life, what would it be? Why?
Heh... Doggy... no question about it... I love seeing my husband when we have sex.. but there is something about him taking me from behind that just drives me wild. I could do that forever for the rest of my life and be perfectly happy!

How the kinky met the.... not so kinky

First off... Happy 2009... a fresh start and so forth. It feels like just another day to me... but... yeah. I hope everyone is feeling well on this rainy New Year's Day... I know Ben... is not.

So last night we had a poker party as stated in my previous post. Everyone filed in shortly after 8... booze in tow... and few donned my party attire... but the ones who did were to coolest kids in the house (hehe... I, of course, was one of the few).

We had a mixed bunch last night... a handful of our kinky friends, some of Ben's work buddies (non judgemental ones), and my sister and brother-in-law. My sister is kind of a prude.. she can be fun sometimes... but other times... she is the type of person who if its not something she's into... then its gross or wrong.

Very early on in the night it came out that I swallow.. she thought this was gross. The way I see it... if your man is willing to go down on YOU then how is it any different.... poor brother-in-law. But whatever... if that's how she wants to be... sexually closed off... that is her problem and she is the one missing out on lots of fun times.

The drinks poured and lots of poker was played. It was a really fun night.. filled with laughter.. (and some snorting... heh...). One of our chairs fell apart on someone... which was funny as hell. Apparently I was fondled while my eyes were covered.... and yes.. there's a picture to prove it. Ben got totally wasted... poor thing.. I've seen him drunk... but never seen him get sick. Last night was a first for that. I hate that I couldn't do anything for him- but that was after everyone went home.

At some point in the night.... we were throwing around streamers... and Ben wrapped some around my throat from behind and pulled. My sister was like "looks like he's into bondage tonight"... which is shocking coming from her.. she was totally cool last night. That was awesome. BUT all our kinky friends were over on their part of the table giggling their asses off at that one... if she only knew.

We did watch the ball drop... and had champaign.. which I hate.. but took a sip of. All in all it was one hell of a fun night. It went off without any issues.. and I'm so thankful for that. You just never know what will happen when you get a group of different types of people together. They just all proved to me what great people they all are... and why we have them in our lives.

So, good bye to 2008... and hello 2009... I hope that this year is just as good as the last... if not better. I look forward to many fun.... touching... and erotic moments... and wish you all the same!