this girl's life

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C is for....

Cherry Blossoms


This is probably one of my favorite times of year next to fall. My town's neighborhood roads are lined with pink trees.. some of which are cherry blossom trees. Its quite possibly the only pink thing I truly love. They are so bright an cheery and when it gets close to the end of their blooming cycle... it rains pink flowers.

There is nothing like it really... driving down the road and going through a blizzard of flowers. It doesn't matter what kind of mood I'm in, this makes me smile. Two weeks ago, this particular road was alive with color... and then.... they started to fall. In another two weeks... there will be no trace of them left. Such a short time... for such beauty.

B is for.....



I work in a bakery. I've worked there for six years now... and I love what I do. It's fun and challenging at times. It's nice that I have the freedom to be creative sometimes... while still sticking to the company's idea of how they want their cakes and products to look.

These are our two ovens... they are busy most of the day with various things we make. I almost never use them because well... I'm not a baker. :-) During the winter after I come back from lunch or break I'm usually cold... and always head for one of these to warm myself in. Two minutes in a 400 degree oven always does the trick!

This is our big mixer that is used to make my butter cream and other things on. It's actually taller than I am. KitchenAid has nothing on this mixer hehe. When I snapped this picture, they were busy making lemon meringues.

The bowl above is where the icing is made then it is transferred into this hip high bucket. We have three (two for white and one for chocolate) and go through several of these a week. That bucket was full this morning and only has about a fourth left in it now... we were kind of busy today.

This is our top fancier case.... the finished product. It always makes me smile when people walk up and say things like they're just drooling or that the stuff in that case looks amazing. We get asked all the time if it is even real. It's pretty cool.

But... that's my bakery... where I spend forty hours of my week at. There are certainly worse places to work.

HNT: symbols

symbol (sim-buhl)-noun: something used for or regarded as representing something else; a material object representing something, often something immaterial; emblem, token, or sign.

There are many symbols in our world.
When a person wears a ring on their left hand... generally it means that that person is spoken for... married or intent. Sometimes it's just a sign of commitment. Either way there is a heavy weight put behind this outward statement of such an inner feeling.

For me... my wedding and engagement rings are a sign that I am married. It means that I have promised myself to my husband for the rest of my time on this Earth. I wear my rings everyday... all day. They are special to me... a part of who I am now.

When a person wears a collar... generally it means a person is owned in some form or another. The depth of such ownership is decided upon the couple. A collar is also equally as heavily weighted as a ring as it is not something that should be taken upon lightly. It's a commitment all of its own... to be in a relationship that is ran by one partner sexually and/or in everyday life.

For me... my collar is a sign that Ben is my dominant... sexually. We are equal partners in all other things. It means that I agree to submit to him... to meet a sexual need we both have. I wear my collar everday... all day. It is special to me... a part of who I am.

A is for.....

Ive decided to try something new... I'm not really sure what direction it will take... but I'll start here. I'm going to go through the alphabet.... with pictures. I'm not going to put restrictions on the pictures... so they quite possibly will be all over the board.

Our pets are very much a part of our family.... like more kids.. only smaller and furry :-) We have three cats.. each with their own personality.

This is Piggy. He is our oldest at eight years old and our first. Piggy was Ben's before we got together. When we moved in together... he brought Piggy with him. He is quite possibly the sweetest cat ever. He sleeps with us each night.. usually at my feet. He's very much a cat of habit... very much like Ben and I. He loves turkey deli meat and can recognize the sound of the plastic baggy from the other room. He also loves his belly rubbed and would be quite happy to just let you do that all day long. We call him by all sorts of names... Piggers... Buddy... Buckeroo... its kinda silly.

This is Brandi... she is the second oldest at six years old. We got her from the humane society less than a year after we moved in together. We felt bad that Piggy was all alone during the day.. and decided to get him a friend. We fell in love with her.. she's very much a talker. When we brought her home...she hated Piggy... but didn't have it in our hearts to take her back. She had already been at the shelter for a year... she needed a home. We think she was abused in her previous home.. she's very flighty- even after all this time we've had her. She's better now... but still not over it. I feel bad for her. We've nicknamed her Girl.. as we never felt that Brandi really fit her.
This is Sammie and our youngest at just at two years old. We got her right after we returned home for our first anniversary trip in Vegas. We got her for the same reason we got Brandi... a friend for Piggy. This time we decided a kitten was the way to go. We also got her from the humane society. She was only like six weeks old and fit in the palm of our hands. She earned the nickname Wee Lil because of that... along with a dozen other nicknames. We almost never call her Sammie anymore. Shes full of energy... very much a kitten still. She will run full board through the house and antagonize the other two cats.

So that's our furry babies... our family wouldn't be complete without them.

Our Anniversary Weekend away (Day one... part two)

If you haven't read part one yet... feel free to do so here. :-)

When we got up to our room.. I kicked off my heels. I was certainly happy about that after hiking half a mile back to hotel. That sure doesn't SEEM like a lot... but when you don't wear heels a lot, it sure is. I walked over to the huge windows and pulled open the curtains. I looked out over the city towards the Space Needle all lit up... and smiled. It had been a wonderful night.... quite possibly one of the best dates we have ever been on.

Ben walked up behind me... wrapping his arms around me. We stood there together.. soaking in the beautiful sight and just enjoying being together. I closed my eyes and sighed... knowing that this moment was perfect- that nothing else mattered at that second but being there with him.

Minutes passed before I felt the warm touch of his lips on my neck. My eyes stayed shut... as they continued down my neck to my left shoulder. I turned my head back just enough for me to open my eyes to see him just for him to look up at me. My breathing was already shortening.... my body already tingly and needing him.

Our lips met... kissing each other wanting to encompass each other. I shifted.. turning around to face him... he wrapped his arms around me pulling my body into his. Our hands wandered... my hands reached around running my fingers over the fabric that covered his ass.

His mouth parted from mine... and back to my neck causing my head to fall to the side allowing him access. In my daze... he had unzipped my dress.... and then pulled it down off my shoulders. It fell to the ground, a puddle at my feet leaving me only in my bra in front of him. I took the opportunity to pull his shirt out of his pants then started unbuttoning it.... wanting him in the same state of undress as me.

Once all the buttons had cleared the holes.... I ran my hands up his chest... our mouths busy with each other. I reached his shoulders then pushed the fabric off him... adding to the pile at our feet. Quickly my fingers went to work on his belt... unbuckling it.. then to his pants. Before long... we were both completely naked.

Ben pushed me to the floor... and I wasted no time taking his cock into my mouth. He sighed with pleasure finally feeling the wetness of my orifice. I went slow at first.... on my knees... while he looked out over the city, knowing that at any minute someone from the neighboring apartments could see in. What a show that would have seen.

My pace picked up.. his hand on my head.... his hips meeting my movements. He was becoming rougher... taking charge in only the way he can do to me. He pulled away... turning me then pushing my face down, leaving my ass in the air. Ben straddled me and slid in with such force it took all I could for my face not to rub against the carpet.

He slammed into me over and over.... I still struggled to keep my head away from the carpet... it certainly was a challenge. It was a balancing act between pleasure and pain... so much so... I wasn't sure how I felt about it... but I went with it anyway.

Finally he decided I had enough.... and got off me... pulling me onto the bed. I laid on my side giving him entrance to any hole of his choosing. My leg hooked his waist pulling him to me... till I felt the head of his cock press against my ass. He pressed gently... I gasped... then asked for lube (that I had conveniently packed for such an occasion... always be prepared for anything on vacation I say).

He reached over to the end of the bed where our black backpack was laying.... I guided him to the right pouch. He pulled it out... drizzled some on us both... then guided his cock into my ass. As always he met some resistance but slowly kept to his task of stretching. When he finally was in to the hilt... he gradually moved in and out... getting the muscles to relax and accept the intrusion.

Once I was just as much into it... over the initial pain.... he quickened his motion. My hand was on his chest... moaning with pleasure..... the other on my clit. Time faded away... I don't know how long we were at it before I begged him to cum. I needed to feel him fill me... to fill my ass...

My fingers moved up to his nipple... tweaking it... knowing that would push him over the edge. His movements started to become ragged... I knew he was close. I knew all I had to do.... just a few words...

"Cum in my ass please".

His eyes snapped shut.... a few more thrusts... and then his body shook... and he grunted with each spurt inside of me. A couple more thrusts left him completely spent... he pulled out... then laid down next to me. I curled up into his arms. It was just after midnight by then... our anniversary.

"Happy Anniversary baby... I love you", I said... laying my head on his chest and sighing.

The perfect date indeed.

Our Anniversary Weekend away (Day one... part one)

For our anniversary... we decided we'd take a little weekend trip to celebrate. We picked Seattle because its close and there's plenty of stuff to do. We left Saturday mid day after we had laid around in bed.... starting off our vacation in true couple fashion. The two hour drive was nice as we had picked the perfect weekend to go. There was no rain to speak of and the sun was out. For those of you who live in the Northwest, I'm sure you can appreciate that.
We had next to no traffic till we got near downtown... which wasn't bad considering. Once we got off the interstate we made a beeline for Pike Place Market. I love the market... if I lived in Seattle... I would shop for all my fresh produce there. This place is just so alive... so much energy... it has a life of its own. Yes, its crowded... but I think its part of its charm.

We wandered around.. looking at all sort of things... just enjoying our time together. We had no where to be... no plans until later. I love the freedom of just being together. It was a much needed time away.

One of my favorite parts about the market is the flower. During the winter they sell dried flowers (which they had a few still left), but spring is now in full bloom and there were tulips everywhere! I love seeing the pairings... the bouquets... they're lovely.

After we left Pike Place, we headed over to our hotel. Check in went quickly... and then we headed up to our room. We got a room with a great view of the Space Needle with a huge bed.. and wonderful soaking tub.

We laid around for a while.. watching tv.. and just laying in bed cuddling. This time away was about being together... the activities really didn't matter to us. Before we knew it, it was time to get ready to head off to our dinner cruise.
I put on my dress and got all prettied up. We were quite the attractive couple... all arm and arm together.. I do love being on the arm of my husband. We headed to the pier and waited. It was a bit chilly... but it was nice.
The dinner cruise was amazing. The sights were lovely.... and the food was so yummy. We cruised around the Puget Sound and Lake Washington.. which included seeing Bill Gates house lol.
We had bruschetta, a green salad, garlic peppercorn bread, beef tenderloin, and then a raspberry chocolate mousse to finish it off. Each course was brought out perfectly timed to each leg of the cruise and set to a live guitar music.

The best part was watching the sun set over the Cascade Mountains. There's something breathtaking about watching the sun glimmer over the water. The way it shines so softly in the distance.. kissing the earth laid out before us.
When the cruise was over.. we headed back to the hotel to drop off the car. We hopped into a cab. This guy had NO idea where we were wanting to go... and the trip there cost twice as much as it should have. He ran three yellow lights (they turned red before we even were under them) and almost hit a couple guys there were crossing the road. Needless to say.. I was slightly terrified.

But, we made it to our destination unharmed. He headed into this bar and grill that boasts 160 beers on tap. It was truly impressive. Ben ordered a sampler and I got a mixed drink. I was pretty disappointed in mine... probably the worst drink I've ever had. Ben liked his though, which was the only reason I picked to go to that particular place.

We sat and drank... chatting and being together before we decided to head back to our hotel around midnight. It was only a half mile back.. so we decided to walk back. It took us about twenty minutes of pain staking walking in heels to get back.. but we arrived happy and together.

We headed back upstairs to finish up our night.....

the dress

I had looked far and wide for a dress for our upcoming (now passed) anniversary weekend away. You see, I'm really not a big fan of dresses. I not 100% sure why that is... I just know that I don't like them... and I know... I don't think most are very flattering on me.

About a week before we were supposed to leave.... I had enough. I hadn't found a dress... and the ones I had found quite frankly sucked ass. So.. I gave up. I was going to wear my black and blue pin striped pants. The thing is I wanted to find a new shirt to wear.

Friday I set out to find a new shirt on lunch. Much to my surprise.. I found a ton of dresses that I loved... weird. I tried them all on... and one of them was just "it". I was thrilled.. and more so when it was 50% off! Sweet deal.

Friday was the last day of work before my ten day vacation started. When I got home... Ben was just getting home around the same time. I told him about the dress then tried it on... with the shoes and earrings I planned on wearing. Ben said.... "cute". I laughed and said I didn't want to look cute.

Ben wanted to pop into the shower before my niece and her fiance showed up and so I was going to go to take off the dress. He walked up behind me.. and wrapped his arms around me.

"The best thing about a dress... is this...", he said... as his hand snaked down my thigh and hiking up my skirt. His fingers worked their way around to the round of my ass... making me exhale. Before I knew it... his fingers were working their way to my pussy... to my clit.
I pushed my ass back and against him... feeling his hardness against me.... and I must say.. I loved every moment of it.

Then out of no where... he bent me over the bed.. and slammed deep inside of me. He pounded away... the moans slipping from my lips. I could hear the tinkle of my dangly earrings with each thrust. I felt deliciously slutty. The kind of slut that is only brought out by the best lover. The kind of slut that the sophisticated woman wants to be... and is only made to be so when its forced upon them.

He pulled out.. only to let me shed my garments... and head to the shower. Inside the bathroom I was fucked before I could turn the shower on.... more inside the shower... twice before he finally decided that what he really needed was to cum inside of his wife.

I think he liked the dress.

another year

Three years ago.. I married my best friend... and it was the best day of my life.

Everyday since... has only been better... through the rough and the good times... he's been my rock.


My dearest Ben...

Without you... I'd be lost. No words truly grasp the way I feel...

Happy Anniversary my love!!

HNT: lazy afternoon

Things have been so busy here... so much going on.
Its always nice to take time out to lay in bed..
even when its a wee bit chilly....

HNT: silver balls

Less is more?

How young... is too young?

The other morning I was on my way to work... at a stop light I opened up Facebook. As the updates came... there was my 18 year old niece.... saying she was engaged. I don't know who else feels like this... but when you watch a kid grow into an adult... its hard to make that transition into thinking they truly are grown up. It was odd to see that she was in fact getting MARRIED.

I can't help but worry that she is too young... that she's see far too little of this world... and that she can't possibly know who she is yet. I know I didn't... even if I thought I did. I'm not saying that getting married at 18 doesn't work. What I am saying is... that it takes a lot of work. Marriage is work even when you're 40 let alone 18. I wonder if they truly know the gravity of what they are going into.

I know at 18 I thought I knew what the whole world was about... that I knew it all. The reality is that I am a different person now than I was then. This may not be the case for her... and for her sake... I truly hope this is true. I just really want her to be happy and have a wonderful and full life. I also hope that this works... and that twenty years from now... they are going to be going strong.

The truth is.... I do very much like her fiancee. He's a great guy... and adores my niece. I have no problem with him at all. I just worry that's all. I've always been a worrier... and I doubt that will stop anytime soon.

At any rate.. there has not been a date set. My niece is going into the Navy... and leaves for boot camp in May. She said they are going to wait till after that and some schooling she has to go through.. so at least the summer of 2011. I think that will give them time to let their very young (6ish months) relationship weather the test of time and distance. If they can make it through that... I'm fairly certain they can make it work.

Love is a strong thing...but it takes more than that to make a marriage work. I know all of you who are married totally understands that. And like I said... I just want her to be happy.... and him for that matter.... they are good people.

(And before I get attacked.... I hope that I didn't come off as saying that getting married at 18 is wrong... I just think it brings some added weight. You have to grow up together essentially. I know it's not impossible... many people have done it.)

A Tale of Two Piercings (part 2)

You can find part 1 here.

Valentine's Day rolled around... it was the first day of our vacation. We didn't leave the house till the afternoon.. I believe close to one or two. I could feel the nerves welling up inside of me.... but strangely enough.. not nearly as bad as I had expected. I really assumed that I was going to be a ball full of nervousness... but really... it never was overwhelming.

Ben made sure that I wanted to do it... said that I didn't have to if I didn't want to... but I had... what.. almost five months leading up to this one day. I wanted to. The idea of them wasn't my idea to begin with... and had he never mentioned it.. I never would have done it on my own accord. Somehow over those months... it became something I really wanted too. Can't complain about that :-)

We got downtown, where the shop was. We had to park in a garage several blocks away... but it wasn't too terrible of a walk. We parked and arm in arm.. we walked down the street... chatting and enjoying our day out. The rain was a gentle sprinkle... and so we were okay without an umbrella. We did... however... walk under any canopies we passed by.

We got to the place... and with a deep breath... we pushed into the shop. At the counter was two people... a guy and a girl. I didn't make eye contact... I didn't say anything... but the idea of telling a complete stranger I wanted to get my nipples pierced slightly embarrassed me. Even so, I waltzed up to the counter with Ben... and said just that.

The guy... Charlie... started out by explaining that they didn't pierce with anything but bars... and used Tygon. This I already knew. He pulled out the beads I could choose from and laid them out on the counter. I told him I wanted something blue... and he pointed me to the few options I had. I ended up deciding on a silver ball with blue gems in them.

He took some initial information... said he was going to sterilize the jewelry and handed me a clip board to fill out some more stuff. Ben and I strolled to the couches where he looked through their portfolio. I finished up the paper work pretty quickly... and sat and waited. I took off my jacket.. I was warm... I'm thinking from the nerves. I was actually doing this. It seemed a bit crazy.

Charlie called us back into their piercing room. We chatted... in a way that was familiar about pets and stuff. It was kinda weird.. but really good.. as it put my worries at bay. I didn't get time to get all worked out and crazy. He was very good like that. He also asked if I was nervous or excited. I laughed that uneasy sort of laugh.. and said nervous for sure.

When he got all the stuff set up... he said he'd step out and let me get undressed and get comfortable. I remember feeling kinda strange... taking off my shirt and bra.. and sitting in this chair so that some guy could stick a metal needle through my nipples. Strange indeed.

When I got settled, Ben went and got him. Charlie had me stand up with my arms at my sides. He marked each side of my nipple then had me settle back in. More chatting went on. He asked me if I was feeling okay- I was... and just ready to be done.

He put these tiny scissor shaped forceps on my right nipple. He asked if they were too tight.... in my head.. I laughed... I certainly have had worse. I told him they were fine. He told me to just keep breathing and not tense up... it would only hurt worse. I couldn't look at him... or down... I just looked straight at Ben, who held my hand and looked compassionately down at me with a smile.

Then.. it was time... he counted down.. and through my nipple the needle went. I tried hard to breath.... but it was hard not to squeeze Ben's hand. I was going to a tough cookie and not cry or scream... no way. I did... intake air and make a sound.... the kinda sound you make when you're trying not to panic. Then the right one was done. Again, I was asked if I was doing alright... I was... let's keep going.

Onto the left. Same as before... I kept breathing... but never felt an adrenaline rush. Too bad too. Again.... the forceps... the count down... and the needle ripped out a piece of me. This time... it hurt much worse. I still didn't scream... but man was I glad we were done.

I could get dressed now... and I was going to do so carefully. Charlie said to sit for a few to make sure I didn't feel dizzy or what not. When I felt confident I could stand with no issues... I stood and felt dizzy almost immediately. I grabbed onto Ben's arms as my world spun. Charlie asked if I was doing okay and then said to sit for a bit longer. He went and got me a glass of water to help.

After a few minutes... I stood slowly and got redressed. It was done.... I had pierced nipples.

After we paid.... we pushed out of the store onto the streets of downtown... and I felt awesome. The piercings didn't hurt nearly as much as I had expected... the worst part was certainly the actually piercing.

It's an odd thing walking down the street with a secret piercing of sorts.... and you know.. and you feel like the whole world should know. I know that I love my piercings. I never thought I would so much... but I do. I'm so glad I got them. I've been so fortunate in my healing process too... I've had no issues and no soreness to speak of.

So that's my tale... of something that would have never been had it not been for Ben...

A Tale of Two Piercings (part 1)

Sometime in October.... Ben asked me how I felt about nipple piercings. I told him that the idea kinda scared me... that I'd never just get them done just for me. I mean... obviously this is something that would hurt very, very much. He also asked if I'd ever get it done.. that he thought nipple piercings were hot. This, of course, was a huge motivator to do it... as I like doing things that my husband thinks is hot.

After some thought.. I agreed to get it done.

The first hold off came as soon as I decided to do it. With my surgery on the horizon.. I couldn't them done. So we decided that after, we'd do it. When the time came... it was Christmas and we needed to focus on spending our money on presents... it would have to wait some more.

New Year's Eve rolled around... we had a poker party. There was a mixed bag of attendees. One of the people that came was a friend of a friend. Cool chick though. She had her navel pierced several weeks before with something called Tygon. She said that it cut down her heal time considerably. We chatted briefly about it... as my sister was there.. and I wasn't wanting her to know why I was asking. She just wouldn't get it. I decided that later on, I'd email her and ask more. She just raved about the place she got it done.... and so when I went to decide where to get it done...I checked them out.

As 2010 rolled around... we were wanting to take a vacation... after being burnt out with work. I decided that we'd wait for vacation to do the piercing.. just in case I was going to be sore. I didn't exactly want to be working with sore tits lol. We planned to take the week of Valentine's Day off. The closer we got to it.. the more excited and nervous I got. I was pretty worked up about it... the last piercing I had didn't exactly work out so well. I think it lasted less than six months. I just really didn't wanna go through the pain of getting them pierced and then not having them very long.. but I was willing to give it a go.

As the week approached... Ben and I talked about Valentine's Day and what our plan was. Ben thought it'd be cool to go down to Portland and spend the day there and get my piercings. And so... that was the plan. Yes, I could still back out... but by then.. I wasn't doing it just to make him happy... I really wanted to get them done.

Even when the day approached.... I was super nervous......

TBC :-)

Ben's idea

I was at work... and texting. (Yes, I know.. shame on me). Anyways... I was telling him about my most recent crazy dream. You see, I have very crazy dreams.. and am known for them. I think my all time favorite was the one where Snoop Dogg tried to kill me. It was quite funny.

In the process of the conversation... he mentioned that I should start writing down my dreams. I asked him if there was a specific reason... he only replied that it'd be interesting. So of course this planted the seed.. that has now become a new reoccurring part of my blog.

From now on.. any time I have a strange or crazy dream... ther'es a good chance it will show up on here. :-)

SOOOO on with the show. I have two different dreams to talk about... both completely different but interesting (to me atleast) in their own right.

Several days ago... I had a dream about a baby giraffe. He was the size of a half grown cat with fluffy fur instead of short hair like a normal giraffe had. He was super cute and rambunctious. Anytime the door was open... he'd take off for it.. trying to get out. You'd think it'd get annoying.. but all it did was make me laugh. AND the best part was that you could cuddle him... and while you petted him... he'd purr, just like a cat. OMG so cute.. and I want one so bad. Too bad it doesn't really exist!

Two nights ago I had a dream based in Biloxi, Mississippi. I've realized that I dream a lot about the south. I grew up there... and know it very well.. (that is the parts I've grew up in lol). I'm sure that's why it plays such a big role versus where I live now.

Anyways... I was at a casino right on the beach. It was a big resort as well... apparently it was bought by a new owner and was being remodeled. They had just put in this awesome pool area that was more of destination than just a place to swim. It was amazing... and I remember thinking how good it felt to be swimming as I don't get to often really.

I stayed at the pool for a good while until I was supposed to meet up with Ben and his best friend. Sometime in this process of meeting up with just Ben it came to attention that we were meeting up so that we could have a foursome with his BF and BF's sister. I thought this was just too weird and really didn't want to do it. I did my best to make Ben understand that... but he shrugged it off.. saying that it wasn't weird.. and it was no big deal. It was pretty frustrating.

We got into his car and were going to go meet up with them... but for some reason Ben decided to drive towards the casino. There was 3 or 4 tunneled roads that led to the underground parking area. He picked one of the middle ones that was corded off and busted through it. I was freaking out asking what he was doing... but we pressed forward down the dark road that obviously been unused for some time... it was covered in dirt and trash.

Off in the distance I realized that the road had been cut off and it was going to drop us directly into the Gulf of Mexico. I started to panic... and finally talked him into turning around. Just as he did... I woke up.

So yeah... that's a few... and there will be more in the future. I know I can't be the only one that remembers their dreams to such depths. I do find them interesting though. :-)

the surgery

So where to start. I guess I should pick up from where my last post that wasn't blog ending.

I was scheduled for my tubal at the end of November... two days before Thanksgiving to be exact. It was kinda crappy.. but my choices were that or two days before Christmas... I bet you can guess why I picked November.

I spent the weekend before making pies and breads for Thanksgiving.. getting as much done as I could... as I knew I wouldn't be much help in the kitchen (and I wasn't). Finally the day arrived.

We checked in at six a.m. and did a series of waiting. I was back in the prep room around 6:30ish. I got changed into my very sexy gown and slippers. I was draped in warm blankets which soon become a little too warm. They also put these cuff things on my calves that are inflated during surgery to prevent clots. Not flattering but served a purpose.

I answered questions like if I had any jewelry on and if I was shaved (like I wouldn't be lol). Fun. Next came the iv which wasn't too bad... The nurse numbed my hand so it wouldn't hurt going in. That was a nice touch... I've never had them do that before.

Soon we were joined by the drug doc lol and my doctor. More questions and we are good to go. Ben had to leave me then. I was certainly nervous... but I was committed now.

They wheeled me down the hall to OR 3. It was cold and kinda scary. There were like seven people in there plus the docs. I waited as they prepped my table and noticed the schedule of people getting surgeries. One was a 24 year old getting a hysterectomy. That breaks my heart to even imagine...

I didn't have time to focus on that though. They had me scoot to the table. My right arm was wrapped in a warm blanket... I could feel the leg cuffs inflating. I looked up into the light as the put the knock out stuff in my iv and put my arm out on the arm rest. I heard a nurse say she was putting an patch on my chest and I looked up at the lights. And that was it.

Apparently as I was coming out (I don't remember this-Ben told me later) but I totally panicked...and started thrashing around. I had to be held down by three orderlies. I'm glad I don't remember that... I'm sure I was scared. Not a good memory to have.

What I do remember is the severe cotton mouth. I got asked in my haze if I wanted crackers or Graham crackers... I picked Graham... Took one bite but my mouth was too dry. At least I think that's all I ate. I asked for water too.

They wheeled me into another room... and Ben was finally allowed to see me again. That's where the nurse scheduled my post op appointment then asked if I felt good enough to head home. Honestly, I was still pretty loopy but I had Ben. They gave me my first dose of pain meds before having him sign my release papers.

He helped me get dressed an even put my shoes on(sweetest. man. ever.) then helped me to the wheelchair. With that.. we were on our way. We stopped long enough to get my medicine at kaiser... I decided to stay in the car...I'm not so sure I would have had the energy to go in.

When we got home I went straight to bed with help of course. Ben joined me :-) I didn't sleep well. When they do this they fill your stomach cavity with air... Not all of it comes out. So there was tons of pressure that hurt more than I can describe. It took hours to dissipate.

We stayed in bed till almost three when my back hurt too much to lay there any longer. I keep having to change positions every little bit to try to alleviate the discomfort even through the meds.

I mean...overall... It wasn't terrible but I'm very glad I don't have to do this again. It took me about three or four days to not be walking around like I was an old woman... and about a week to not feel drained at every little exertion. But... its all behind us now. It's nice to know that birth control is a thing of the past for us.

its been a while

Short and sweet. Thats me. And... I'm back. I have missed blogging ever so dearly... and now its time to come back.. and try to pick up where I left off. So much has happened... little stuff and big stuff- so bare :-) with me as I try to recount what I think is important from the past six months.

I fear I have lost the few regulars I had... nevertheless.... I'll write anyways. Because after all... this blog really is for me.... I just happen to enjoy having people read as well :-)

So with that... I'm not sure at what pace I'll be pumping out posts.. but I hope its somewhat regularly!