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yes, thats what I want

Ben and I were talking last night... just one of those out of the blue conversations. We were talking about sex... about how I love our sex... and stuff that I want to do. I told him I wanted him to push me... to push me hard... so hard that it made me cry. He seemed a little uncertain about it and said that he didn't know if he could do that. He said it may be different in the moment.

I really want this... I want that kind of release. I want the pain to be so intense.. the emotion so intense that tears well up inside... and I feel that relief of letting go. I live for being pushed.. to see how far I can go. I want to know what my breaking point is, just so I can build on it.. and improve.

I want him to be able to invoke that kind of emotion in me. I want to see that kind of trust in front of me because I know its there... it will just take time to build to that.

Does that seem odd that I want my husband to make me cry? That I want him to bring me to my knees... and hold me close bringing me back to reality?

I don't think its odd... I mean it can't be that weird... or atleast not for me... because its what I want... what I need.

Sugasm #148

This Week’s Picks
People I could hang out with
“But it wasn’t just a story, it was a damn sexy story.”

Red, Hot Ass
“I grunted, but held still.”

Smart Girls Make Better Lovers
“Chicks with brains can make you scream.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
Sex Blogging and Writing for the Drawer

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Sex History
Right To Vibe

Erotic Writing and Experiences
A is for
Adult Party Games - Round One
Adventures in Digital
Balcony fun
The Dinner Party: Part I
Female Waxing
Her Glorious Cunt
Lilly and the Construction Crew
Not So Complicated
Sex in Public on Road Trip Day 9
So Wrong….
The Waiting is the Hottest Part. Confession #140

Sex News, Reviews, & Interviews
Every Kind of Sex Available: Exploring The Limits of CyberSex
NYC Sex Bloggers 2009 Calendar

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Impertinent Question: What’s the Kinkiest Thing You’ve Ever Done?
Study HNT

Sex Work
Sex Work and Compassion: Self Hating Client
The Sockjob Goddess Returneth…

Sex Advice
Libido in Older Women
Pregnancy BDSM
Try the Pelvic Slide Position for Maximum Clitoral Stimulation

BDSM & Fetish
A domestic fantasy
A man becomes a fucking machine
Not your usual gangbang.
Playing the scene
Sex Camp 2008: Fiiiiyuuuurrrr!!!

Sex Humor
Fantasy Friday: Ahoy, Matey!

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Autobiography of a Masturbator: Porn O’Graphicus, Part 4
Marriage Failure a Natural Success
Never submit to escort screening
Sex Shop Jitters
Ten Things I Find Extremely Sexy On Men - The Non-Physical Version
What I read at Dirty Words night
Why do I do This?

oh the little things

I went to Starbucks yesterday morning to get some coffee and water. This is my morning routine at work. Kim was the only one working at six in the morning and she and I bs'ed as usual. I ordered a caramel white chocolate mocha. She had an extra shot sitting there and offered it to me. I accepted.

After getting my coffee I went on my merry little way. As I walked.. I sipped my coffee. It didn't taste right so I went back... asking her to fix it. She said it must have been the extra shot. She added more syrup.

She had me test it.. and it was sweet to say the least. So she added some new whipped cream to the top which made the coffee overflow.

"Hurry and suck it out", she said.

I did that quickly not wanting it to run out onto my hands. She told me I had white stuff on my lip. I licked it off.

"Thats what happens when you suck".

Sierra wants a new toy!

In the realm of wanting to push myself.. in wanting to see how much I can take and try new things... I've decided I want a new toy! I want to try out a cane. Now this scares and intrigues the hell out of me... but I really, really want to try it. I want to feel the sting of it against my ass and legs.... I want to see the lovely red whelps left on my skin when Ben is done with is assault on my flesh. Just the very thought of it makes me moist.

When Ben got home tonight we went and took a shower. I mentioned to him that the next toy we get I wanted it to be a cane. He asked me if I was sure about that.. and I said yeah. His words- "Ok, just remember YOU asked for it". I think I got a little nervous at the sound of that (haha).

I told him just to start out slow.. and we will work ourselves up to full blown caning. After that, he climbed out of the shower and leaned in to kiss me. Me, being the feisty girl that I am.. didn't kiss him. He said for me to kiss him.. but I still didn't.

This is when he got inpatient... grabbed my hair.. and told me to kiss him. I felt a twinge in my cunt. Again, I didn't kiss him. This time.. he pulled harder and put his hands around my throat. I kissed him.. deeply and passionately. I could feel the air slipping from my body as I kissed him... so helpless in his arms... so lusting after him.

Our kiss lasted for a while before I couldn't breathe anymore and pulled away. Ben stepped back into the shower.... pulled me to the bottom of the tub and shoving his cock down my throat. Oh how I love when he does this.

He face fucked me.... holding my hair tight in his fist. I was barely able to breathe... and he kept pounding away. Then suddenly he slammed deep in my throat with my nose buried in his groin cutting off my air. I could feel my eyes tearing up... and my mouth salivate.

When I couldn't breathe again... I jerked about trying to get away. He released me... I gasped for air for a few seconds for him to slam back down my throat.

This went on for a bit.. until he wrapped his hand around my throat and weaved his fingers through my hair... and pulled me to my feet. He squeezed hard... and tried to keep breathing. Words spilled out of his mouth.. asking me if I wanted him to whip me... and when I said yes... he asked now... I of course said yes.

Then he let go.. and left the shower. I stayed in for a few more minutes.. getting my footing. When I turned the water off and opened the curtain.. he was standing there in front of the sink. I started to wring my hair out and got half way down when he grabbed me by the hair and pulled me out and onto my knees.

I took him deep in my mouth.. working diligently as I sucked his cock. He stood still as I worked him... his hands still in my hair... holding me close enough without letting me go. After a few moments.. he pulled away... taking me by the hair still and walked out of the bathroom... still dripping with water.

He pulled me into the bedroom and yanked the blankets off the bed. Again... on my knees he fucked my face. He was relentless.. shoving his cock down my throat. I was starting to get cold.. feeling the water roll down my naked body.

When he was done with me he got me on the bed bent over. He went for the flogger and I winced a bit. I knew that what was about to happen.. would hurt.. a lot.

The first it shot through my body... and hurt like hell. I cried out.. and he hit again... and again. Each time was just as painful and I gasped for air each time. He kept whipping me and whipping me... each time I cried out... and all he did was mock me by laughing and being pleased with himself.

He alternated between fucking me and whipping me for a while. Sometimes doing both. He'd go around and have me suck his cock as well... switching things up. He climbed off the bed and behind me again... and nothing.

Then he told me what he had.... a yellow switch like thing. It's part of a cat toy we have... its like ten inches long and tapered. I think... he wanted to simulate what the sting of a cane could feel like. Suddenly I felt it hit my skin... and it stung.. BAD.

He did this over and over again.. in different spots... I wanted to cry. The last blow was just below my ass.. in the very tender skin. It took my breath away.

After he was done with that.. he slammed back into my dripping wet pussy. He slid in and out a few times and told me to climb onto the bed on my back. He slid his cock down deep into my mouth and told me to spread my legs. He told me he was going to whip my pussy. This is where he began toying with me.

He ran the flogger over my cleaned shaved pussy.. teasing me... he whipped my thighs softly... moving up to my breasts... whipping those. He asked me if I was ready... I was. Seconds passed, yet they seemed like hours... and he dealt the blow. It was harsh.. and it shot through my body like lightening. I kept sucking his cock though.. never stopping.

He ordered me to get back in the position I was in. I crawled back to where I was. He climbed in behind me.. and slid inside of me. He started fucking me hard... with a mission. He flogged me over and over... till I felt his body tense... and felt his cum fill me.

So yeah.. a hot time was had... and I think he likes the idea of a cane.. what do you think?

Sugasm #147

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #148? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
““You’re lucky I’m not being mean right now.””

Cum Squirt With Me. Confession #131
“Not much research has been done on the female orgasm in general, much less this seemingly new erotic marvel.”

Jealousy, Pornography and the Boundaries of Blogging
“I search to be a sexually free, independent and satisfied woman without the stigma of slut yet with the positive implications of slut.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
Blue Fantasy, Red Silk Rope

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Sex News, Reviews, & Interviews
DVD Review: “Hostel Lupus” (Lupus Pictures)
Lady Sascha Reviews the Light-Of-Love T
Sarge Ties Up Charlotte Vale On Hogtied
VibeReview Fantasy: Decadent Indulgence

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
The Enigmatic Angel Finds Out Just HOW Kinky She IS
Fetish Fridays: Interview With A Sissy
How Grey Does Your Garden Grow?
Rock Me Sexy Jesus
We don’t plan to stop
Where Do I Fit In The Picture
Why I hire escorts
Why, Oh Why Do I Like Watching My Wife Get Fucked
You Are Beautiful Tonight

Sex & Humor
Overheard In BDSM

BDSM & Fetish
Bonds of Love
Brutal Bastinado And Intense Sadistic BDSM
Don’t Slam The Door
Exceeding My Expectations
Meeting with BS 4
Mistress or Lusty Bitch?
Public Displays of Discipline
Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 5
Sarge Says: The Vale That Is Thin Enough For Me
Sex and Submission Round 2 Report: Mz Berlin, Mark Davis, And Bondage
She works hard for a living…

Sex Work
Satine Phoenix Is A Sinner? Repent Repent Repent!

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Clips and Clamps
Feather Fan HNT
Half-Nekkid Thursday: Sunny Side Up

Sex Advice
Bend over boyfriend how to make him want anal sex
How To Put On A Condom In The Dark
Man-Handled: What Makes the Perfect Blowjob?

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Being Alone
Catalina loves Fucking Mr. F (In My Mind At Least)
Fuck My Mouth
The Long Kiss Goodnight
Making out in the air part1
What She Forgot - Another Friday Night Bedtime Story

Anatomy of Sex

For me... there are four parts to a sexual encounter. All of them have equal importance... and so ranking them or saying one is better than the other would be difficult for me. There really isn't one part that I don't like... I crave it all.

In my eyes, sexual encounters break down into four basic steps- leading up to, foreplay, intercourse, and what I like to call the afterglow. Now not all of these steps happen or are even possible every time one has sex... just keep that in mind.

So... lets break it down...

Leading up to-

This is an awesome part of sex... so much can come from it.. and it totally can be just as exciting as the actual act. Your imagination takes over and anything is possible. The wonder of what is going to happen.. what you hope will happen... is intoxicating. This is particularly enhanced when it's the first or first few times. However.. when you find someone that you have amazing sex with.. this can continue to be so exciting.

I know that for me personally... I still get a rush thinking about Ben.. about waiting for him... about wanting him. It's still very intense... and I just love that!


Just what can I say about foreplay... um... YES. I love, love foreplay... it's just awesome. It's like a dance... to tease and excite till you can't take it anymore and want to rip each other's clothes off. All in all.. its good stuff.


Well.. after all the working up... it's time for that all important penetration. When teases becomes too much... and all you want to do is fuck. I love that initial penetration.. the way it fills me... dear god its amazing. The rush of it.... where the whole world outside of the room ceases to exist... and all that is there and matters in that moment is the two of you.

I'll admit it.. I'm addicted to sex... there are far worse things to be addicted to I think (hehe).

One of the best things about sex is that it can be anything you want it to be. It can be gentle and sensual... or it can be rough and dirty. It's something that everyone has in common (well most everyone).. we've all had sex.. or will have sex. As you can probably tell by now.. I take every opportunity to have sex that I can.

The afterglow-

For Ben and I, this part is always the same. It doesn't matter if he was choking me till he came... or if he was making love to me... it never changes.. and I love that. We always fall into each other's arms... soaking up the bliss from our intimate encounter. I love laying in his arms.. all content. It's the one time I can roll into his arms.. and be completely comfortable no matter how I'm laying.

I just love the content feeling from it... that all the world is right.. and its just perfect. What can be better than that? What drug will give you that kind of high?

And when this is all said and done... we get up and hug each other every time. I love change.. but routine is good too I think... and I don't ever want that one to change.

So that's my break down of sex... hope you enjoyed. :-)

my take on open relationships

It amazes me how much I have changed in the last ten years... and this post will be a testament to that. Even as little back as three years I was very not so much against open relationships... but did not think it would work for me.

I felt this way because well.... the idea of the man I am with being with someone else... well it made me kind of said... and a wee bit jealous. I had no problem with others living this way... whatever works for the was my thoughts.... but it certainly was NOT for me.

It really was not till here recently that I really began to understand the beauty of this type of relationship. Now I will say this.. Ben and I are not going to try this. However.. I can see the good in this.. and it could benefit and hinder a couple.

With that said.. this is how I feel about it. Throughout time, most cultures did not live with monogamous relationships. Some did marry but would end up having lovers on the side. I honestly am starting to believe that it was not meant for humans to be with just one partner. I think this is something our society has raised up to be believe is true and have in ground it into us so that we feel any other way of living is bad.

I think that it's just wrong to judge how someone lives their life. If you are not hurting anyone.. then how is it any of your business to tell someone that being gay is wrong.. or liking wearing women's panties is wrong?

I blame the way our society is today on religion. Though, I guess that is wrong... it's been this way for a while (but still stems from church and religion). I probably shouldn't get on that soapbox today... I feel very strongly against organized religion. I think that their core morals have something to them... (be a good person) but yeah...

I'm losing my point. Let's get back to business here. I think it's really hard to live decades of your life having sex with just one person. It's very, very difficult. I think it's possible.. obviously it's been done... but hard.

I can see lots of good things coming from this... I think in a way it could strengthen the relationship you have.. the emotional connection... because there would be complete honesty about what's happening. Then again.. if you were to make an emotional connection with someone else... it could very well go south.

I think that its work... I think that logistics would be important here and of course rules... but if Ben and I agreed to try this... I certainly would not be against anymore. Just as long as I was always his most important person... and that no one else had his heart. That.. belongs to me.

(sorry if none of this made sense... I'm thinking I didn't actually end up with a point...)

computer issues

Right now I'm at my parent's house using their computer... apparently my notebook is under recall and we are dealing with that right now... I'm not sure if we are going to have to send it off or not.. and if we do... I don't know when we will get it back.

I will try my best to continue posting if I can get the internet to work on our desktop... or at my parents.. just please be patient with me :-)

poker night

Saturday night we had a poker party at our place as I said in an earlier post. It was... an interesting night to say the least. I got up at 5:30 am on Saturday and did not make it to bed till almost 6:00 am on Sunday.

Work was hell that day.. it was very busy... too much work and not enough time to do it in. Needless to say I was happy to come home. I got off at 2:30 pm. I went home and posted a blog... showered and then our friend Smith showed up.

He needed to go shopping for some new jeans... and so we all piled into Ben's car and went around. We got home around six. The guys started setting up the table and chairs and I started fixing our dinner-nachoes.

Everyone showed up around seven. There was lots of booze involved and we were having a great time. I won the first hand of the night... which is always nice. I think in all I only won three hands though... but whatever.. it's not about the money.. it was about having fun.

As the night progressed my brother in law and husband were very drunk... along with two of our girl friends. This is where the guys started asking to see boobs (their word lol). At first it was only cleavage... fearing that my sister and I would be upset.... which is NOT the case. I said I really didn't care.

So this is when the breasts came out of the bras. There were tons of pics taken and I started calling Ben the porn director (only because he'd be like "Jan... what do you have for me now?"). Soon this settled down and Smith took off a little after elevan because he had to be at work early the next day.

Around midnight my sister and her husband took off and all that was left was Gail and Jan. We all sat around and bs'ed and in this process I found something out about my ex (funny... Gail is my ex's ex... weird huh?). This disturbed me greatly.. and as I cannot go into details.. I will say I'm sorry for that.

Shortly after that... they left... and I told Ben about what I found out... he was very pissed about it. I knew I wouldn't sleep unless I knew the truth and so I went to his parents house (where he lives) to find out the truth.

I got the truth.. and all hell broke loose. The whole family ended up coming over... and there was drama galoure. It was a nightmare. It didn't finally simmer down until around 5:30 am... and Ben and I went home.

The party was a blast.. we had a great time.. I just wish the after part had not happened. It was not fun at all. Now the whole family is just trying to get past it and pick up the peices... and thats always fun.

dominance is present even when we make love... sigh :-)

I rolled over towards Ben.. it was dark.. and we were in bed for the night. I propped myself up on my elbow and leaned my face down close to him. I gently kissed his lips then rubbed noses with him. I love doing that... it feels so sweet... and intimate to me.

I used my other hand to carress his chest... and then started rubbing down his sides ever soft. I kissed him with passion but not the kind that makes you mad with lust. The passion you have for a lover... someone you care about deeply... someone you love.

After a few minutes.. I laid my head on his shoulder and continued touching him. I ran my hands all over him... this stomach.. his hips (which is my favorite part of a mans body-odd, I know!)... his legs.. the inside of his thighs.

Ben's hand roamed to my back gently stroking up and down... my back, being the most sensitive part of my body.... I felt a surge through me. I continued my attention on my husband... occasionally brushing his stiff cock.

He moved his hand up to the nape of my neck and grabbed it firmly. Even if we were being gentle... there was still a hint of dominance- which I love! With this I wrapped my hands around his dick and gently began rubbing up and down. His hips moved with my movements.

Shortly after he guided my head to his nipple. I took one into my mouth and licked it slowly, making circles around it. I could feel him get harder in my hands as I did this. He pushed me closer to his chest signaling me to suck harder.. and so I did taking it into my mouth and getting a good suction on it.

When he had enough of that he pushed my head down to his stiffness in which I took slowly into my mouth. I wanted to feel every inch slide into my wanton hole. I went to work on him... sucking him diligently. I love the way he tastes and the way he reacts to my attention. I was careful not to pick up too much speed as I wanted to draw it out.. wanted him to ache for my body... but decided to throw in a little hand action to the mix.

After a bit, he told me to ride him... which I eagerly did. I climb on top of him.. sliding down slowly feeling every inch fill me till he could not go any deeper. I let out a sigh... I took his hands in mine... and guided them to my breasts. He grabbed them gently... massaging them.... good lord it felt great.

I started bouncing up and down on him... he pinched my nipples... and I could feel an orgasm building in my body. I kept moving just right... with the mixture of his attention I knew that at any minute the flood gates would open and sure enough... it happened... I felt this rush come over me... and I came all over Ben. It. Was. Amazing.

From there I climbed off and took his dick into my mouth tasting my cum all over him. He gently fucked my face as I sucked. It was only a few minutes I was climbing back on top of him... this time facing away from him.

I bounced up and down... grabbing his legs to steady myself... working his body over. Every few movements... I'd switch it up.. and grind and grip his cock. I just could not stand it anymore... I needed him to fuck me.. and fuck me good.

I again got off him, grabbed his hand... and gave a little tug. He moved and we switched places... me laying back spreading my legs for him to fuck me. He took no time and quickly slipped into me. He hit the bottom of my pussy.. and I let out a loud moan.

I reached down and started rubbing my clit as he fucked me.... he pounded away at me... holding my legs as he did so. Again, I could feel another orgasm building... and he told me to cum for him. I rubbed a few more times... and came hard again.

Apparently it was all too much for him and he came right after me.... filling me with his cum. The good thing was... he wasn't done with me... and it seemed like it was just the beginning.

writers block

I know it's been several days since I've written anything... but there is a valid reason. I just don't know what to write about. There has not really been anything exceptional going on lately that's fun to read about. Trust me, I've wanted to write... and I will sit and think about it... wonder what to write about... some topic that I can get on my soapbox about and yet, nothing comes.

So I figured I'd write about nothing.

The weekend is fast and approaching thank goodness. We are having a poker party this weekend. I can't wait. Our poker parties are always so much fun. We drink, play cards, and eat nachos. I mean- what could be better than that?

I remember ( I think the first or second one we had- we have them usually about every month.. but haven't since May) this one poker party we had. I believe it was last October.... I had borrowed a big Gatorade cooler and made jungle juice. It had tons of alcohol in it... rum, vodka, sangria... and I think some other stuff.

Needless to say... I had to thin it up with some Sprite. I added a bottle of that I think... when all was said and done... it still ended up being 90% alcohol... 8% fruit.. and 2% Sprite. A deadly combination.

I had one cup before they got here... and I was feeling good after half the glass. I tried to convince Ben to have a quicky before they showed up... but no dice. I, of course, was disappointed.

I finished it off when his friends showed up... mine showed up shortly after. My friends and I stood in the driveway eating and drinking. I had a second glass... I guess I was talking really loud when this went down (hehe).

Soon we migrated inside and I was all sorts of torn up. The room was spinning.. and I felt really... out of it. Shortly after that.. I felt like I was going to be sick and crawled to the bathroom because walking at this point was not an option.

I spent the remainder of the evening in the bathroom not knowing how much time was passing. Ben would come and check on me periodically and see if I needed anything. At some point I went to bed.

About two hours elapsed between the first drink to me getting sick.. crazy huh? SO yeah.. I've never done that again.. and never will. This poker party won't be a repeat of that night... I actually PLAY poker now lol.

Anyways.. looks like I found something to write about.. yay! I guess all it takes is just writing sometimes.

Hopefully I'll have something a bit more sex crazed to write next time hehe.

Sugasm #146

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #147? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Nipple clamps, butt plug, Hitachi - oh my!
“Once the plug is in, I’m going to send you on a little walk.”

I discover transcendental orgasm
“It was peaceful, and like holding on to a live wire at the same time.”

When We Were Kids: Thoughts on BDSM
“The tying was always my favourite part, whether I was the one tied who had to escape, or the one who got to do the tying.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
Like a Prayer - Part 2

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Bite Me
Lunch Date
On the phone
People we’ve always wanted to be
Submitting Again: Part 3
While it rains outside…
Your Gorgeous Polish Girlfriend does not feel like having sex tonight

Sex Work
The Age of Porn: Performers, Attraction, and Age
So there I was, with a caller…
The Whore in the House Next Door

NSFW pics
Dana by Goncharov (Met Art)
Fetish Model & PornSLUTkitty Gets Her Head Tattooed
A Fully Naked HHNT
Not a masochist

Sex News, Reviews, & Interviews
The Lelo Mia
Nea: by Lelo
Njoy’s Amazing Butt Plugs - A Sex Toy Review
Sex News Roundup

BDSM & Fetish
After the Party … (part III)
Catalina loves Naughty Secretary Roleplay
Charlotte Vale And I (Mz Berlin) In Bondage Gangbang On The Training Of O
The Enigmatic Angel’s Kinky Cinematic Journey
The Pleasure Of Torment
Push Button Behavior Modification
The Sarge And Backdoor Bondage Have Great Impact Play And Hogtied Style Bondage Content
Shoes, it’s really all about the shoes.
Snap, Crackle, and Pop
Whipped Pussy Reminds You To Always Keep A Spare In The Trunk

Sex Advice
Help, my boyfriend won’t go down on me!

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Can A Threesome Help You Find Your True Love?
Eco Sex and Green BDSM
Femme is a Noun, an Adjective, a Verb…
If You are Charming Smart, but Ugly, I Fuck You For Sure!
It’s a struggle.
Stripper Milf versus Stripper Teen: 69 points to ponder
Where The Hell Did My Boobs Go?

you have GOT to be kidding me

So I was talking to a friend of mine today. He is a Dom, and honestly, I'm not so sure WHY I actually talk to him. He kind of infuriates me... and well yes... he pisses me off.... frequently.

But, anyways were were texting and were talking about how his slave thinks he is distant with her and that he is never affectionate with her... that he doesn't really communicate with her. Of course, he feels the same about her... that she is cold to him. (I think that its probably the first.. but that's just my humble opinion.)

I guess that she told him that she wanted to just submit to him but that she needed certain things... love and communication. Being him, he didn't really inquire about it... basically said to watch herself. I don't know how she keeps her mouth shut... I would have freaked out a long time ago.

Guess what he tells her? Love is earned. I was floored... I told him I did not agree... that respect is earned. He didn't like that much... but too bad. I don't think for one minute that you should have to earn someone's love. No way. Love grows.... it's not a prize.

Just wow. Even know I'm in shock over it. I was so mad that he told her that. I didn't tell him that though, because obviously it isn't my place. I just feel so sad for her.... and wonder if all D/s relationships are like this.... if all slaves do not have the opportunity to share their opinions in a respectful way. I just could not even fathom that... the idea of that... that my thoughts were not worth anything. That having an opinion was not allowed.

I just cannot believe its all like that... I know too many wonderful Doms out there for that to be true... or maybe my brain just doesn't work like that... that I don't understand because I myself have not lived that way.

Who knows. But tell me... do you think that love is earned? And if you do... why do you feel that way?

oh what fun it is to....

8:30 pm

We decided we wanted to go to bed early... been working hard lately and it just sounded like a good idea.

8:50 pm

Ben is in the bathroom shaving... I'm laying on our bed petting our cat. The phone rings. It's my sister. I figured she wanted to bs... which sucked as I as tired and we were planning on going to bed when he was done.

"Can you do me a favor?", she asks.

"Yeah, what is it?", I asked... not really sure I wanted to know.

"I'm broke down, can you come get me? The tow truck is going to take my car to Hyundai... can you get me there?"

"Yeah, where are you?"


I sigh under my breath.. that's a forty-five minute drive there... so much for getting some extra rest. She gives me the address of the place she will be. I tell Ben and give him the chance to just stay home. He decides to come with me because he doesn't sleep well without me anyways (his words).... later I'd be super glad he did come after all... not that I wasn't happy already.

9:50 pm

We drive down there... and just as we're pulling onto 205 Melody calls. She tells me that the tow truck hasn't come yet. I figure out where she is on the highway and we make our way to her. I see her sitting on the side of the road on the north bound side as we are going south.

We get turned around and get to her car. We all settle into our car and she lets me know what was going on and such. Roadside assistance calls a couple times as does the tow truck. The guy says he can't find us-that he's went up and down that strip of highway atleast half a dozen times.. This tells me one thing- that fucker is still at home.

We hike up to get her something to eat on the exit at Burger King... what fun! Her husband calls to check on her.

11:05 pm

After a few calls... Melody loses her cool. They call back one more time... she goes and sits in her car for some quiet cause we had the car windows open and music playing. Behind us pulls a state trooper.

Melody gets out her car and is freaking out on the tow company... screaming... I bet the trooper thought she was crazy... I sure did.

11:15 pm

Roadside assistance calls back. The tow company will not be coming now because of how she freaked out. I don't blame her for getting upset.... I mean seriously.. the guy was lying that he was looking for us.... and calling Melody a liar- that we werent really in the spot we said. She was literally parked next to an exit sign. Give me a break.

They tell us they will call another company and they will call us with a new ETA.

11:20 pm

New tow company calls- ETA TWO HOURS!

Seriously!? I totally have to work the next day.. give me a break... Melody wants us to leave... but I refuse to leave her alone on the side of the road. So we settle in for some more wait time.

12:00 am

After talking about it... I'm really upset at the first tow company... decide to call. Talked to the lady in charge and explained what was going on...

"There is no way that he has been out looking for us... we couldn't be anymore visible than if we were standing right in the middle of the road"

She takes my number and says she will call me back after she figures out what is going on because her shift had just started.

12:10 am

She calls back. They are not coming... because of how Melody talked to them.... sigh.

Melody calls back roadside assistance to see if there is anything else we can do. After a few minutes its obvious there isnt. I'm way passed ready to be home.

Melody says she is going to get her husband to come down so we can go home.... which he ends up not being too thrilled about. Heaven forbid you have to come take care of/ pick up your wife! Jackass.

12:45 am

Hubby is close to us as the tow truck finally pulls up... THANK GOODNESS. We make sure she's good with the tow guy and finally head home.

1:30 am

We get home and collapse into bed.... have to be up in less than five hours for work.... lucky me.


So that was our night last night.. crappy as it may be- but that's what you do for family, right?

a lovely shade of red

Last night we were on the couch watching tv.... I'm not sure what was said but it was something playful. I leaned over onto Ben grinning and said something I'm that was playful and bratty, again.. can't remember. Then I grabbed his nipple between my fingers and pinched gently. He tried to block my attempt but failed as I leaned in and took it into my mouth.

I wrapped my lips around it, sucking softly... his whole body relaxed as I did so and let out a sigh of pleasure. I pulled back a bit and flicked his nipple with my tongue, teasing him... making him want me. Then I took his tender flesh into my mouth again and bit down just enough to create tension without breaking the skin.

His fingers weaved through my hair... and I knew that he had to be hard... lusting after my body- just how I wanted him. I felt a grip on my hair pulling me up close to his face and then his other hand wrap around my throat. I was instantly wet.

He pulled my head close to him turning it so he could have access to my ear. He licked the lobe and I could hear his breath so clearly. I waited anxiously for what was going to happen next... my mind all aflutter with wonder. And then finally what seemed like forever he spoke.

"I want to hear you beg for me to whip you. I want to hear you beg to suck my cock. I want to hear you beg for me to fuck you. Do you understand?"

And with that.. I was a puddle. I shook my head yes that I understood. He pushed me back enough to get up off the couch... his hand still gripping my hair. He tugged and I followed. As we neared our room he pulled me in front of him. He pushed my arms up and pulled my shirt up over my head and then yanked my shorts down leaving me completely naked and exposed.

I put my hands up on the door frame just as I felt the sharp sting of his hand hitting my ass... followed with three more strikes. I yelped at the suddenness of it.. the way the pain shot through my body... and went directly to my hungry cunt.

"Go tie your hair up", he directed as he went into the bedroom. I went into the bathroom quickly and pulled my hair up into a ponytail. As I entered our room he was standing at the foot of the bed holding the flogger... I could not help but get a lot more excited.

Pushing me to the ground, he guided me to suck his cock.. and I did... taking him deep into my eager mouth. And then it began... the onslaught of my body. There was no warm up.. the first hit stung like you would not believe. I could feel the heat in my flesh already. Again he hit... and for a brief second I was afraid he'd hit my feet. I was afraid to feel that pain and so I pulled them into me the best I could without actually hiding them.

I continued to suck his dick as he whipped me... hitting my back and my ass over and over... being relentless... never letting up. He then ordered me to bend over the bed... and so I stood and bent over. There was more flogging... hard quick hits... the hardest he's ever hit me. And he spoke again... sadistic words rolled out of his mouth.... and I loved it.

"You know what I love about this? I love that no matter how hard I beat you, no one will know because it does not leave marks"

With that he stopped and slide his hardness into my drenched pussy. He commented on how wet I was with a groan and began pumping away at me. I met his movements screaming with pleasure while he still whipped me. It felt glorious... I felt pushed past my comfort zone... and I didn't want him to stop.

"Aren't you supposed to be doing something?", he asked.

"I don't know?", I responded

"You don't know? I think you do.", he growled.

"I'm supposed to beg you?", I asked as the flogger hit my back making tears well up in my eyes.

That was it.. that is what I was supposed to be doing... and so I begged him to whip me. I begged for more and more and for it to be harder. He was putting everything into it.. I could tell.... each time I begged he'd hit me harder... and I'd feel like I was going to cry but would ask for more.

He pulled out and hit me over and over.... assaulting my back, my ass, my legs. I cried out over and over and then I asked to suck his cock. He granted it and I greedily took him into my mouth. All the while his beating did not let up... he was going to push me till I broke.. I was sure of it.

Ben finally moved to where he could whip my breasts as I sucked his cock. This is where it got hard... feeling the leather slap down on the tender flesh on the sides.... it was hard not to cry.. not to stop sucking. And then he delivered one harsh blow that make me double over. I breathed deep and he told me not to stop... that I needed to be punished for stopping... didn't I think so?

"I think you need to have your pussy whipped two times, don't you?"

I agreed and he pulled me onto the bed... told me to spread my legs. He had me repeat what he was going and say that I deserved to be punished because I had stopped. He slapped the flogger down hard... so hard my legs snapped shut and I couldn't make a sound.

"Legs apart... ready for the other?", he said

I managed a yes.... in which was not acceptable.

"Do not talk to me like a pussy..."

I opened my legs and mustered all I had in me... and answered. There was more said.. and then another blow. Again my legs snapped shut... and I gasped for air. From there he turned me over and slammed into my dripping cunt.

He pounded away... still whipping my back... till the tension was all too much. He took the flogger and wrapped it around my neck using it for leverage to fuck me with. The speed quickened... and with that he ordered me to cum. The flood gates opened with that.. and I had a powerful orgasm... quickly followed by his.

When it dissipated... we collapsed into each others arms... basking in the glow of amazing sex.


Last night laying in bed... I was propped up on my elbow looking down at Ben. He had this twinkle in his eyes... with a slight up turn in each corner of his mouth... the kinda you get when you're content.... everything his face screamed was that he loved me.

I sighed completely at peace in the world and curled into his arms with my face against his chest hearing his heart beat. It was so simple... and yet could not have felt more perfect.

It was one of those moments... I love this man moments... ahh how I love those.