the road less traveled

I wonder, the life I would have lived.... had I made different choices along the way.

Would I be where I am today? Had I not had children... and did the four year college thing.. would I live in the Northwest? Probably not... because at each decision... at each fork in the road... there is a different outcome.

Perhaps I could have graduated with a degree in marketing as I had dreamed.... and live in some large city... doing the grind... behind a desk some where. Dress to kill everyday... with a go getter attitude putting my social life on a back burner to further myself up the corporate ladder. But really? Is that truly me.. I think not.

Perhaps I could have married someone else... never having kids... living in a the high life with my powerful husband... in a condo we had long since payed for. Encircled by our flashy friends that would make me question if they were true friends.

Or.. perhaps I'd be in a devastatingly unhappy marriage... the typical house mom... staying at home.. making dinners and cleaning house. Carpooling the children that I would have had to soccer and baseball. Always the ever faithful, happy wife on the outside but deep down loathing my busy, but some how boring life.

See... no matter how many infinite different versions of me there could have been... I can't help but be thankful for the me that I am. I have made some not so wise decisions in my day, but in that same breath, I have made some pretty damn good ones. Had I not made each and every one of those, I would not be here.. I know that... I would not be married to Ben.. I would not have the children I have... who really knows where and who I would be.

Quite frankly, I'm happy not know what other version I could be.