this girl's life

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yes, thats what I want

Ben and I were talking last night... just one of those out of the blue conversations. We were talking about sex... about how I love our sex... and stuff that I want to do. I told him I wanted him to push me... to push me hard... so hard that it made me cry. He seemed a little uncertain about it and said that he didn't know if he could do that. He said it may be different in the moment.

I really want this... I want that kind of release. I want the pain to be so intense.. the emotion so intense that tears well up inside... and I feel that relief of letting go. I live for being pushed.. to see how far I can go. I want to know what my breaking point is, just so I can build on it.. and improve.

I want him to be able to invoke that kind of emotion in me. I want to see that kind of trust in front of me because I know its there... it will just take time to build to that.

Does that seem odd that I want my husband to make me cry? That I want him to bring me to my knees... and hold me close bringing me back to reality?

I don't think its odd... I mean it can't be that weird... or atleast not for me... because its what I want... what I need.


No, I think you want to make the ultimate connection with Ben. You want to push the limits of your sexuality and your relationship and know that it is strong enough that Ben will let you be who you want to be, challenge yourself in your sexuality, and still be there to support you when you reach your limits. A relationship built on the ultimate form of trust-just another way to make your bond grow both physically and emotionally. Bravo for you!