four's a crowd

Ben and I were recently asked if we wanted to play with another couple and to go to a swingers party. It SOUNDS sooo exciting. I was bummed when we didn't go (I got over it though). But of course.. there are a few things that keeps this from happening.

1. Ben and I are both kinda possesive of each other. Let me clarify that... we don't really want to share each other with someone else. Having friends.. and doing things outside of each other are A okay.... but as far as being intimate with another... I think this would be very traumatic for each of us. Sooo for us to join another couple... this is sharing... and well.. yeah.. probably end with some hurt feelings.
2. Ben is not comfortable having sex in front of others... no pictures.. not in the same room... not on cam. The idea of it.. just is not appealing to him. Me on the other hand... I think this is incredibly exciting. I have really come into my own voyeurwise in the last few years. There is something very, very erotic about watching another person/couple in the midst of something sexual. But again.. that's just me. We are a couple... and so we have to find a common ground to where both will be comfortable.
3. Past experience.... I've been down this road. I trust Ben completely.. but those bad memories... still taint my mouth. In fact... I completely trust said couple as well. They are awesome. This is my hang up.. no one else's.

Despite this stuff.. it doesn't keep me from thinking about how fun it COULD be. I feel like we kinda missed out on a great experience.. but if he's not in it all the way... then I'd rather not do it at all. Keeping our healthy, happy relationship is way more important to me than one night of craziness.

What I do get from this is.... really hot masturbation material! So its not a complete waste!