this girl's life

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even the happiest couples disagree sometimes

I have always been hesitant to air our dirty laundry... I didn't want to be THAT girl that bitched and moaned about her husband. The fact is... I adore him with my every being... I love him... and plan on spending our lives together. No matter if I am upset with him... or completely happy.. that does not change.

With that said.

Our only ongoing issue in our relationship.. has been sex. Sex is very important to me... always has been. Its part of how I identify myself. I am a very sexual person... period. Ben.. no so much. He is okay with having sex a couple times a week... and leave it at that. He's not the type to spend time looking for new things to do.. or watch porn without me. It's not at the front of his mind... almost ever.

For me.. that's really not so true. I think about sex everyday... multiple times a day. I like thinking about new things... looking for new things. I could happily have sex almost everyday... and be good to go.

There is not a huge difference in the amount we want sex... but it is very noticeable to me sometimes. I am very touchy feely... in a sexual way sometimes.... even if I'm not necessarily trying to initiate sex. Sometimes... my goal is just for him to want me.... to have that want build till later. He doesn't always get that... the point of it. And so this leads to my feelings being hurt.. because he pushes me away.

About every six to eight months... we do this dance... where it comes to a head... mainly because when it comes up.. we put a quick patch on it and move forward. We never really come to any answers to how to meet in the middle. And so things start back all hot and heavy... and slowly move to the other... and culminates in me being butt hurt and him feeling like he can't perform to what I need.

I'm really tired of this dance... tired of it coming to that.. because honestly we're better than that. We can work out our differences.. we are intelligent adults. So thats where we are. It will all work itself out.. its just trying to figure out how to get to that point.

We are both trying to figure out what exactly we need and what we want. When we do, we'll sit down and talk.. compare.. and figure out the middle ground. It will be work to figure out something new.. and make it work... but I know we can.