this girl's life

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just because

Sometimes we forget... or... actually sometimes we get lazy... and we quite doing the things we used to. For whatever reasons... they just stop happening... time.. money... or just plain being tired.. it just ceases. I can't say I've always been the type of person to go out of my way to show someone how much I care for them... how special they are to me. I would do things.. but they were always for special occasions.

When I met Ben... he had a history of not feeling appreciated... and from there I made a promise to myself to never let him feel that again. Because of this... I would do special things... like leaving notes.. or having him come home to a massage... or even have him come home to me naked. I always (and still do) would make sure to tell him things I appreciated him doing.. or complimented him. It's important to me.

Lately I found myself not doing it as much... mostly because he does not surprise me in the same manner. It is not that he loves me any less than I love him... its not that he doesn't want to... it just comes down to the black and white of it... my dear beloved is not a planner. He doesn't look at the world like I do. He does not spend all day at work planning a special evening.. its just not who he is.

I mean, I wish he were.. but he is just not. He has so many wonderful qualities about him and so this is not a big deal.. at least.. not always. After all.. I am a woman... and can be a bit crazy sometimes. Besides, I am the planner.. I love to do that... and so.. we fit together nicely.

Anyways.. my point. Like I said.. I kind of let it go... and realized today... that its silly. I enjoy surprising him... doing special things for him... because it makes me and him feel good. So... I decided... damn it... it doesn't matter if he doesn't show me the same way that I show him how much I love him. He shows me... every day. He doesn't have to do special things for me.. because he is always doing something.... always there.. no matter what.

So... back on the horse.. :) Ben is coming home to a nice relaxing shower.. followed by a body massage.. and a candlelit dinner. I can't wait to spend the evening with him.... hope everyone else has as good of a Saturday that I'm going to have.