this girl's life

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sometimes its good to remember your past

A friend of mine is going through a rough patch in her life... she and her husband are having some marital issues. I've been there before... not with Ben... but my children's father.

My relationship with my ex... we'll call him Mr. Wonderful (can you feel the sarcasm in that name? grin). Mr. Wonderful and I had a great relationship.. for the first.. oh... three months. He had good qualities.. and yes, I have talked about him on here before... here. I was smitten with those few good qualities and managed to look over all the bad ones.

Years passed... somewhere in there we go married (a HUGE mistake)... and somewhere in there.. I was miserable.. just didn't realize it. I mean, that's not true... I knew I was unhappy but in all honesty I never thought I could have everything I wanted and I could be happy. It just seemed like a foreign idea. I was quite okay with settling.

This was my mistake. I settled. Then one day... I realized... I want more. I want all the things I dreamed of.. I just wanted to to be happy. Simple as that. I told him... crying how unhappy I was.. and that things had to change... and of course, he begged me not to leave him. BUT, do you think he did anything to try to fix our issues? Nope. Not a single thing. I spent another month.. making sure I was for sure of this... and decided I needed a weekend away.

When I got home... I told him I was done.. that I couldn't do it anymore. I needed more from my life... and he wasn't part of that. He moved out that night to his parents.

The following months were horrible. He was borderline stalker.. seriously. He'd show up at the house... always tried to touch me and huge me... it just made me sick. I can't really begin to explain what it was like. But I had to deal with him still because of the kids and because I adore his family and intended on still being a part of it.

Even after I met Ben.. he was still pining after me... and most people feel that he still wants me. The whole idea just makes me ill to my stomach.

So I guess the point of this is.. you never know what life holds for you. Life is short.. and its the only one you have... you should always do things to make yourself happy. Had I not made a difficult decision, I would not have what I have today- a man I love very much that makes me happier than I ever thought possible.

Life has a way of working itself out... but sometimes you have to give it a little help. You have to make tough decisions sometimes... in order to get what you truly want in the long run... life is not always easy.