sometimes I think I'm the horniest girl I know

Seriously. It seems like most of the day, all I think about is sex.... about how I want it... about when I'll get it next. Even in the glow after sex... I wonder if there is a chance I'll get it again that day. So.. I guess that makes a greedy, horny girl. Which is fine I suppose... I am who I am... and I'm okay with that.

I have found the issue in this is that... Ben does not share the same sex drive that his nympho of a wife has. As of late it feels like our sex life has settled into a slower pace... one of which I am not happy about. That's not to say that I'm unhappy, because that is not the case at all. I'm still very happy and in love with my husband... I just have this urge... this unquenchable thirst for sex- all the time.

I know lots of people would just say so, what's the problem. Well. The problem is that I'm not getting it as frequently as I'd like and damn it, I miss it! I miss when our sex was everyday. The quality has no changed, just merely the quantity.

I also know that a lot of people have sex far less than me and I should not be complaining.... buttttt I've tasted the life of getting it all the time. It's hard to go back. I know we're both tired... and we work a lot but there's always time for it.. you just have to make it. The other thing is... if you ask him, he will tell you he can't keep up with me and that I'm killing him (hehe). So I suppose that means I just have to deal with it and figure out a way to sedate my needs some.

Sigh.. I just miss it. That's all.... or if I could just cut down my drive just a tad... maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I mean, if this is our worst problem, we've got it made right? :-)

breath play... and speckles

Ben and I are into breath play very much. I wouldn't say heavily, only because it's not something we do all the time.. only when the mood hits.... and then the depth of it varies. He is the only partner I've ever tried it with simply because I never had the level of trust that is needed with anyone else. Just like my submission, breath play was always something that was there in the back of my mind, I just didn't know what it was really... just that it was a want of mine. One that remained unspoken.

I think the part of it that really gets me going is now completely vulnerable I am when we play this way. I know that deep down that all I have to do is tap his arm or gently push him away and he will stop. I don't struggle when we do this because this would be his sign to stop.. and so I have to remain calm. Yet.. there is this level of fear that I'm running out of air that is still inside my mind. And that, my friends, is what it's all about for me.

I remember the first time we ventured to try this. We hadn't really talked about it... honestly it was pretty early on in our relationship. We had already dabbled with some BDSM, and so it just seemed like a natural progression for us.

We were on the couch... there was lots of touching going on. The room was dim.. and I could feel every touch of his fingers on my skin. My body was alive with sensations. He touched my face, my neck, my chest, and then back up again. When he'd come near my neck, I leaned my head back a bit silently urging him to grip my neck.

Finally he did... and held it for a few seconds and let it go. It was gentle but firm... and I was instantly a puddle. From there we only kept pushing me... to hold my breath a little longer... to keep pushing my limit. It's been a fun ride so far.

Last night was the furthest we've ever been. Practically the whole time we were fucking, he had his hand around my neck telling me to relax... and hold my breath just a little longer. When I couldn't hold it anymore I'd signal him and gasp for air.

I came atleast three times while doing this... was amazing to say the least. I love how he knows my body.. how he knows my mind... how he knows my heart. I love that we can do this together... that he can push my limits and it make me so happy. I'm so glad that I have someone I can share that with to say the least.

Needless to say.. with all the air being cut off... I woke up this morning to find lovely marks on my neck... I was thrilled (really!). Later on today when I took a closer inspection I found little red speckles all over my face.. mostly around my eyes. Sooo apparently, it was a shock to my system... a good shock though.

I can't wait till Ben gets home so I can show him... he'll be amused for sure!

just becuase I can't think of anything else

From the time I was a little girl.. I've had troubles remembering experiences I have in my life unless I really focus on remembering them or they were traumatic and caused me to remember. Most of my childhood I don't really remember. It's like a dark corridor with a few flashing lights here and there.

The first memory I have... came in the form of a dream... but was confirmed by my Mother that it was indeed a memory. My Grandmother died when I was two... she adored me and I her apparently. We went everywhere together.

In the dream, we had her wake at the house.. which was common back in the 80's down south. She was laid out in the living room and my Mother had put steps up against the coffin so that I could look in on her. Creepy... I know... but that's how it went down.

Anyways, in the dream I was in a light pink or maybe white dress. I crawled up the steps because I was afraid of falling off. As I reached the top, I looked in... and it was like a dark black spot. There was nothing there. My only thought is that it was so painful for me that I blanked it out.

In between that I remember my 5th birthday.... my 6th birthday and the bike I got. I remember my Mom and her friend watching Pet Cemetery and us kids having to stay outside because it was too scary. And then I remember one of the most traumatic things from my childhood. Mind you, most of my growing up wasn't that fun... there were good times, don't worry, but we grew up poor... and even poorer because my parents and I really didnt have a strong relationship.

So I was eight... I was supposed to wash the dishes and I didn't. My mom got pissed to say the least and started screaming at me. She took the dishes out of the sink and threw them on the floor, breaking all over. I was terrified... it happened all so fast. Then she started pulling the clean dishes out of the cabinet and throwing them to the ground.

The only thing I could do was cry.. and then shriek out that she didn't love me. Her reply certainly didn't prove to me that she loved me... she pulled back and slapped my square across my face. I was shocked... she yelled at me saying that she did love me and to never say that again. I, of course, never said that again... but I didn't feel at ease that she did indeed love me... her only daughter.

Nothing really improved from there... our relationship never strengthened.... and to this day she and I do no really speak. It's been almost a year since I last spoke to her, and honestly, I'm not all torn up about it. That woman has no place in my life... she secured that for herself. At some point you have to say enough is enough and move on with your own life... which I have done.

I'm not saying it doesn't make me sad to think that she and I aren't close.. because it makes me very sad. I am somewhat jealous of people that have good relationships with their parents. I hope that they know just how lucky they are to have that.

I do, however, have a strong parental influence in my life. My ex's parents have been wonderful to me. They look at me as their daughter... and I love that. I love that I have people I can call my parents.. that I have love and respect for them.. and vice versa. So in that aspect I am lucky.. to have the chance to have that sort of relationship.. even if its not with people whom gave me life.

I say, take what you can get... you never know what life will throw at you. You are not defined by where you came from, but who are you. I happen to think I'm a wonderful person with lots to offer to the world... and at the end of the day.. I can look in the mirror and be proud of who I am. That's all I can ask for.

morning sex is good stuff

This morning I was sleeping soundly... but was awoken to Ben's hands rubbing my back and my ass. I was tired.. and didn't want to be bothered but wanted to take advantage of the opportunity with my recent drought.

I wiggled my ass a bit and moaned a bit to let him know I was awake. His rubbing became more invasive and aggressive. I reached back and rubbed his hip as I felt his fingers plunge into my pussy. He worked me till I could hear the sound of my wetness.

I wrapped my hand around his cock gently stroking it. He groaned a bit, moving his hips with my hand. He leaned into my ear and his words echoed through my body.

"I want to be inside of you".

I missed his overt sexual behavior... and I soaked it up. I moved my hand and he slid into my eagerly awaiting pussy. It felt amazing... like it had been an eternity since I had been penetrated. He started to go to work on me.. pumping in and out. I met his movements with my own.

He grabbed my hip... pulling me into him. I touched him.. he touched me.... it felt so raw... purely raw sexual behavior. Yes, there was a sensual nature to it... but it was that first thing in the morning... tired... but horny sex. And I will never complain about that. hehe.

It wasn't long before I could feel the tension in his body- the tell tale sign he was going to cum. I kept moving my hips.. fucking him. And finally he exploded inside of me. I felt a calm, happiness wash over me... it was a good feeling for sure.

I rolled over and curled into his arms. Resting my head against his chest we contently fell asleep again.

our trip

We're home! We had a great time at the beach.. but coming home is always a lovely feeling. It rained the whole time we were there... and then magically... it stopped almost as soon as we rolled into town. Needless to say, I was not too pleased about that. It just figures, you know?

Highlights of the trip:

1. We were on the news! We had went to the beach on Tuesday (in a short break of the rain) so that the kids could fly kites and such. We stayed out for like 45 mins before the wind was unbearable. There was winter storm like weather while we were there... 40 mph winds in fact.

Anyways, we were packing up the chairs and stuff when they walked up to us and interviewed Ben and I. It was pretty cool. We were on the 4,5,6, and 11 o'clock news. My Dad recorded the 6 pm one.

2. The aquarium in Newport was really awesome BUT outdoors mostly. I was not expecting that. You can see in our pictures how our jackets are wet.... who would have thought in August we would have needed them or umbrellas? That's the Great Northwest for you.

3. The scenery is GORGEOUS. I cannot describe how beautiful it all is.. the drive was nice.. so much to take in.

4. CHEESE! We stopped at the Tillamook Cheese Factory on our way home yesterday... I don't think I've ever seen so much cheese in my life.

Things that sucked:

1. THE RAIN.

2. The shower head... it sucked... it took forever to get rinsed off in the shower.

3. Ben had surgery on his toe a couple days before we left so he didn't get to do as much as the kids and I did... I missed him greatly on the times he stayed at the house. He was a trooper though and sucked it up most of the time. The other downfall to that was that in like six days.. we had sex once. I was dying... seriously.

4. With all the stairs in the house (it was 3 stories) and all the walking.. we were all SO sore. Our legs were all crampy.. but better now. Apparently they finally adjusted.

So now that we're home.. I'm glad.. and it's time to start planning our next trip... it wont be till next year though. I have a few more days off.. I don't go back to the hell hole I call work till Tuesday.. thank goodness!

beach time is good time

Well.. we are on vacation now... we're sitting at our beach house rental right now. Its so nice to be able just to relax and know that there is no schedule to stick to. We did some shopping today and walked on the beach. The weather is a little less than what we wanted... but we're going to make the best of it.

I'm going to toss in a pic to share.. and I will have a full report of our trip this weekend of how it went. Have a great week!!

my first flogging

I had anticipated my first flogging from the moment we knew we were getting them. I could not wait to finally know what it felt like to be be whipped. I would sit and daydream about it... think about it as I fell asleep.. little did I know what I imagined would not quite be what it would truly end up being.

The two floggers came in a poster tube. I was stoked when I opened the front door and it was sitting there... waiting. I took them in and opened the container anxiously. I pulled them out... feeling the material against my skin. I felt giddy... just like a little girl in a candy store that just got the best lollipop in the place.

I put my leg out in front of me and lightly swung the leather against my skin. I shivered... loving the way it felt. I hit myself again... a little harder. I grinned and couldn't wait till Ben would be home.

I picked up my phone and texted him that they had arrived... I got a,"Yay!" back.

Waiting for him to get home seemed like it took forever. I was so anxious.. I almost could not take it. When he got home I rushed over and hugged him then hurried off to grab the off our bed. I showed them to him with such glee it's almost silly to admit.

We showered... and then had dinner. He said something about being tired.. and I felt the loom of disappointment coming over me. I tried not to get discouraged and be understanding... but it was hard.

When we finally went to bed... I got what I had wanted.

I walked into the room before him. He walked up beside me and grabbed the corner of the sheet and blanket, yanking them off the bed. He pushed me into a bending position towards the bed, my ass exposed. My heart raced with excitement as I saw him out of the corner of my eye picking up the red leather flogger.

"Is that what you want?", he asked... I replied eagerly with a yes.

He started gently... warming me up. He laid the material on my back and drug it down the length to the bottom of my spine. My whole body seemed to melt... I was already breathing heavily... feeling the wetness grow between my legs.

Slowly he started to smack my back. It felt amazing.... in a relaxing sort of way. What I really wanted was to really just jump in head first... I'm sure he was doing it the best way though. His speed and intensity deepened... to the point that with every hit my body flinched... and I let out whimpers. He hit my back... and my ass... and my legs... and all it made me want was more.

He crawled around to in front of me with his cock standing at attention.. waiting for some attention. I greedily wrapped my mouth around it.... sucking vigorously... not giving any time to warm up. Ben went back to flogging my back.... picking up a rhythm as he hit me.

He told me to rub my clit and that I did. My body was trembling with arousal.. so much so I knew that I couldn't contain it. Almost like he knew, he ordered me to cum for him. With this order an orgasm erupted through my body... but I didnt stop... nor did he... I wasn't going to let go of the intensity.

Unfortunately, Ben had other plans. He pulled away from me... and went back behind me. He slapped my back really hard with the flogger then plunged his cock deep inside of my drenched pussy. I let out a scream of relief. We began fucking each other hard... me rubbing my clit still.. him still whipping me. It was fantastic to say the least.

I'm not sure how long he fucked me... I felt like I had went to another place and time... completely focused on the the pain and pleasure that was my very being at that moment. I did feel when he left me... the emptiness, only I did not have time to linger on it... as he was still flogging me.

I cried out for him to hit me harder.. I wanted him to push me... to push me hard. So hard that I would not be able to stand when he was done with me. I wanted that so very badly. He complied... making my skin burn under the whip. By then I had orgasmed several times... Im sure the bed and floor were soaked.

And then... nothing... no whipping... for a split second. Then out of the silence he grabbed a handful of hair and buried himself deep inside me again. He tugged hard... pounding away at my body. It was intense... it was just pure raw sexual heat that was between us. I wanted him to cum as badly as I did not want him to stop.

I made a quick decision and begged for him to cum in me. A few more thrusts.... he barked at me to cum with him... another thrust... and it was like hitting a wall... that daze... that sense of disorientation. We exploded together... both our bodies trembling from the onslaught.... breath shallow... hearts racing. It could not have been more perfect.

We collapsed into bed... holding each other close. I remember snuggling up to him... his arm wrapped around me holding me close to him, knowing that I could not love him more- feeling like the most special girl in the world.

solo

I had spent the afternoon reading blogs... random ones... ones about lurid sexual moments... moments that stirred passion inside of me. I felt the familiar twinge between my legs... a dull throb... of lust and want. I couldn't take the torture any longer.

To my bed I went (my preferred masturbation spot.. just because I can stretch out). The room was barely illuminated.. just enough that I could still see. I stripped off what little clothes I had on till I was completely naked then laid down. My legs spread and my wanton fingers went straight for my clit.

I started rubbing slowly... then dove slowly into my cunt, wetting my fingers. Back up to my clit I went... working it gently... be intently. I closed my eyes.. imagining all sorts of things... trying to find the right image.. the right set up to give me the intended result.

Finally I landed on one...

We are in a vintage hotel room... dark colors... heavy drapes... rich textures... very.. Victorian. Ben is in an arm chair... dressed. He has his elbows on the arms with his hands joined in front of him... clasped... looking intent. He's kind of slumped down a bit... casual.

On the bed.. my legs are spread.. high in the air. My fingers are on my pussy rubbing it.. looking up at my partner... speaking filthy, slutty things to him. It's an old fuck buddy of mine.. the one that introduced me to bondage.

I glance over at Ben... still sitting there... watching us... then back up to this man who is about to fuck me. I beg for him to slide his cock in my ass.. and in seconds I am filled. He fucks me slowly at first but is soon pounding me.

I feel my orgasm coming... building up to a sweet blissful end. I slid my vibrator into my drenched pussy and turn it on.. fucking myself. I keep rubbing my pussy.. playing images over and over in my head. I am on the verge... I feel it... I keep my steady pace... and finally... a powerful orgasm rushes over me. I cry out in pleasure as waves engulf my body.

Once is subsides... I leave my vibrator inside of me... letting me come down easily. My body relaxes... eyes still shut in a quiet content world.

life happens

As you can probably tell... I haven't blogged in what seems like forever. So much has been going on that I just got taken away with it all... and when I'd think of blogging.. there were just other things I wanted to do instead... it just seemed kind of like a chore. I either couldn't think of anything to write about or if I did have something to talk about... I just did not feel like it.

SO. Here I am.... lets see if we can get back up to par.

1. We did in fact get our new floggers... and to say the least, love them! That is a whole completely different post that I intend on making though. I will say that I like the leather one better than the suede... but like them both.

2. Work has been crazy busy keeping me stressed indeed.

3. Summer also has been keeping me from the computer... living in the Northwest, you have to take advantage of the sunny warm weather for the few months that it's around.

4. Vacation is right around the corner (thank goodness!). We're going to the coast for a few days and staying in a beach house. I can hardly wait!

5. Lets see... bizarre things that have taken place...

Yesterday morning I was sleeping... I was kind of half asleep waiting for the alarm to go off. Ben was already up and getting ready for work as he has to leave just a few minutes before me. I heard this loud crash sound and bolted out of bed to look out the window.

We live almost on the corner of an intersection where several wrecks have happened so I just assumed that was the case... it still scared the crap out of me. Anyway, I looked out the window to see a late 80's model Honda Civic turning right and speeding off.

I called out to Ben asking what that noise was.. he responded by telling me that the blue Civic had just drove through our front yard.... and through our chain link fence! I threw my robe on and we headed out the front door to see what was up. The neighbor across the road told us what he saw and that he was calling the cops.

This car had to have been booking ass... seriously... it took out two sides of the fence leaving behind pieces of the car. The cops came and took the pieces (a side mirror, the undercarriage, and a wind shield wiper) and our statement. I doubt anything will come of it.

It was just strange ya know? Just one of those random things.. that you are thankful that no one was hurt.. and that nothing was so damaged it could not be fixed.

Anyways... that is all I can think of right now. I will be sure to post a full story about my first flogging experience... needless to say.. it was nothing short of amazing.