this girl's life

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breath play... and speckles

Ben and I are into breath play very much. I wouldn't say heavily, only because it's not something we do all the time.. only when the mood hits.... and then the depth of it varies. He is the only partner I've ever tried it with simply because I never had the level of trust that is needed with anyone else. Just like my submission, breath play was always something that was there in the back of my mind, I just didn't know what it was really... just that it was a want of mine. One that remained unspoken.

I think the part of it that really gets me going is now completely vulnerable I am when we play this way. I know that deep down that all I have to do is tap his arm or gently push him away and he will stop. I don't struggle when we do this because this would be his sign to stop.. and so I have to remain calm. Yet.. there is this level of fear that I'm running out of air that is still inside my mind. And that, my friends, is what it's all about for me.

I remember the first time we ventured to try this. We hadn't really talked about it... honestly it was pretty early on in our relationship. We had already dabbled with some BDSM, and so it just seemed like a natural progression for us.

We were on the couch... there was lots of touching going on. The room was dim.. and I could feel every touch of his fingers on my skin. My body was alive with sensations. He touched my face, my neck, my chest, and then back up again. When he'd come near my neck, I leaned my head back a bit silently urging him to grip my neck.

Finally he did... and held it for a few seconds and let it go. It was gentle but firm... and I was instantly a puddle. From there we only kept pushing me... to hold my breath a little longer... to keep pushing my limit. It's been a fun ride so far.

Last night was the furthest we've ever been. Practically the whole time we were fucking, he had his hand around my neck telling me to relax... and hold my breath just a little longer. When I couldn't hold it anymore I'd signal him and gasp for air.

I came atleast three times while doing this... was amazing to say the least. I love how he knows my body.. how he knows my mind... how he knows my heart. I love that we can do this together... that he can push my limits and it make me so happy. I'm so glad that I have someone I can share that with to say the least.

Needless to say.. with all the air being cut off... I woke up this morning to find lovely marks on my neck... I was thrilled (really!). Later on today when I took a closer inspection I found little red speckles all over my face.. mostly around my eyes. Sooo apparently, it was a shock to my system... a good shock though.

I can't wait till Ben gets home so I can show him... he'll be amused for sure!