this girl's life

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getting 2 new toys!!

Sooo a friend of mine, whom also is an ex, makes leather toys. Any type of adult toy you can think of that is made or can be made of leather, he makes. He's told me about them many times before but I guess I never thought about actually getting him to make us something. He finally asked me if I was ever going to buy anything from him lol. And so.. we decided now is just as good of a time as any.

He showed us through cam the things he has and what he thought I would like. He showed me quite a few floggers.. which I've never experienced before. We finally decided on two... one with blue suede and one with red leather. He finished them up last night and showed me today... I'm so excited. He did a great job. I can't wait for Ben to try those babies out on me hehe.

We should have them by next weekend... so here's to hoping that I have a great weekend ahead of me then! It will be a new experience for the both of us for sure. One I'm sure we will both enjoy.

Though, come to think of it... the story of my friend is an interesting on.... so I think I will share.

Ryan and I met when I was 18. We dated for a very short time... like maybe two months. I liked him, but knew that I wasn't into him the way I should be. He's a good down home type guy... a self proclaimed redneck. Just not my type really. I did like spending time with him though... I knew we made better friends pretty much from the get go. But, we tried.

Little did I know that he was very much in love with me... and planning to propose to me. He was busy saving up money to buy the "the ring I deserved" and getting a place so we could live together. This was all done without my knowing. I broke up with him before he could tell me or ask me anything and then shortly after starting dating someone else whom I would spend almost five miserable years with.

We remained friends.... and I still was pretty in the dark about how heartbroken I left him. He did tell me several months after we broke up all the stuff that he had planned. I felt bad and relieved at the same time... I would have never wanted to tell him no... even though I would have.

So several years passed.. we still talked off and on. He decided to drop a bomb on me... something I had never heard of... and it would take me years to really wrap my brain around and truly understand. He told me that he was part of the lifestyle.. that he was a Dom. I thought I understood somewhat but asked a lot of stuff... trying to really grasp it... I never did... not until here recently.

Not too long after that (I think I was 21 or very close to it) we were talking online. I asked him if he noticed that we weren't as close as we used to be. He freaked out on me... telling me that I wasn't the center of the world... that I was but that I wasn't anymore. He ripped me a new asshole so to speak and then went silent.

For three years I didn't hear a word from him. At first I was really hurt, but figured I deserved it after ripping his heart out. I came to peace with it and moved on. If he didn't want to be part of my life.. then so be it. That is his choice.

Out of the blue in 2006 he messages me online. I was floored. After all that time, he decided he could talk to me again. It took him all that time to get over me he told me... but that he was now and that we could once more be friends. It was really nice to be able to talk with him again. From then.. we have stayed in contact... talking every several weeks or so.

He is married now. His wife is his slave... and he has a girlfriend. They are poly... or should I say HE is poly? I'm not sure how that works. All I know is... I could never share. He keeps asking me to come play with him.. and of course I laugh and tell him that he knows I can't. Besides, I think even if I were single.. I wouldn't because he is WAY more hardcore than me. I think he would beat my ass into the ground lol.

So that's the story of Ryan. I think perhaps it is a bit odd that my ex is making toys for us... but hey, I guess there are odder things in this world, right?