When did sex two times a week become part of my life? What happened and when did this change take place.... and when did I become okay with it? Okay, but truly missing it. This shift in our sex life... is it because of all the drama surrounding my birth control.. or is it something more? Between that... his back hurting... being tired... or not feeling good... it seems that sex is something that is few and far between now.
This scares me like I cannot describe... while this shift continue to where its once a week? Or heaven forbid... once a month!? I don't think I could handle that. I want to say that when I do get my IUD back.. that things will go back to normal.. but I'm not sure about that.
As it is... we're looking at another two weeks of waiting for that to happen. The doctor wanted to wait a little longer to reinsert... to have a blood test.. he doesn't want to take any chances that I could possibly be pregnant. I say.. that sucks.. big time. I'm really sick of this limbo and how it fucks with my head... maybe it's fucking with Ben's head too.. who knows.
We talk about it... but still that does not give me full insight to what is going on in his head. All I know is what I'm going through and I feel like our world is upside down. Like we're in the twilight zone... where things are not as they should be. I'm tired of thinking about this.. about writing about it... I want to write about exciting, sexual things that get my blood boiling just by retelling it.
Yes.. this is real life... yes.. we're still happy.... yes... we still have sex.. just not as often... but damn it.. I'm sick of it. Sick of the uncertainty... the wondering... and being told that I should not have sex at all... or if I have no self control... condoms. Well, obviously this guy does not know me... because there is no way I can go without two weeks without sex laying next to Ben every night... feeling his warmth up against me. Yeah. No. Way.
I so badly want to feel him right now... his hands on my body... cause that want is still there.. that need... the primal one. The one that makes me want him.. that aches to feel him... and turns me to a puddle at the thought of him.
Geez.. I need to get laid.
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4 comments:
There's going to be down times as far as sex in every relationship - try not to worry too much. When did it start? That might give you a clue to what the cause is... or maybe it's a combination of factors, or just a lull with no explanation. But as long as you're still feeling the emotional connection, and that when you DO have sex, it's still good, then don't drive yourself crazy over it.
Easy to say, not so easy to live. I'm the same way... it's not necessarily about the sex, but the closeness that it brings. The less frequent it is, the more distance I feel, and the more I worry. No matter how much I know that it's probably not a big deal :)
Hopefully it'll improve on it's own once the IUD issue is resolved.
*hugs*
lalana
lalana...
I'm almost certain its because of the IUD.. it puts that added stress on us and such. But I still very connected to him... more so when we have sex (and yeah.. its great hehe)... but I still connected even when we don't have sex as often.. we always make a point of cuddling.. spend time talking.. touching as we pass each other.. kissing.. so yeah.. Im not worried per say.. I just don't LIKE it much.
I'm certainly an everyday kind of girl.. which makes it hard. I'll survive though.. there are worse things in the world... Im just pouting!
seeing as I have not been allowed to have sex for 3 weeks because of doctor's orders, I feel your pain. I just wrote in my recent post, the same thoughts you had in your comment to lalana. I feel deeply connected to Sylvanus when we have sex... to go without for so long has left me disconnected.
mina-
I totally agree.. it is very hard to go several days without.. my dear woman.. I have no idea how you've made it through three weeks. I am sure its been VERY difficult for the both of you.
These things do tend to go in waves though huh? This too shall pass I'm sure.
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