hormones=bad

I've put off blogging about this.... but the fact is... at some point... there may be a need to refer back to it. SO...might as well spill the dirty details and move forward.

Back in January, we had some birth control issues. Well it seems that we are right back where we were. At the beginning of this month... my IUD came out... once more. I decided I was over playing the IUD game.. as it seems my body doesn't like them anymore.. so I went for a new form of birth control.

I picked out the Nuvaring... as some of the other forms aren't my friend either. I was hoping this would be the end of my problems with anti baby making... I was wrong. A little over a week after starting it... shit kinda hit the fan. I was all sorts of fucked up... I was hormonal and crazy.. to say the least.

The mood swings I was having were out of control... I'd be a raging bitch one minute.. and a crying mess the next. The bad part for me is that I could see myself being irrational... but couldn't stop. I felt so terrible for Ben having to put up with me but he really was a trooper. He was so patient and good to me throughout the whole thing.

After about a week of this craziness... I really couldn't take it anymore... and took the damn thing out. That was on Saturday.. and I can feel the difference already. I'm not completely myself still but I'm a lot closer than I was. I cannot begin to describe how difficult it is.. to see yourself go through this. It's hard not to feel like yourself.

So we're back to square one. I'm so over birth control and don't understand why it's so hard not to have children. I officially hate hormones... and the crap it does to me. I've never in my life had such a hard time. This year has really sucked for that.

I'm off to the doctor today... see what to do now. Lets hope whatever I get does the trick.