sex on the brain

My whole sex life.. I've had an impression... this image... or knowledge that has of late been questioned in my mind. I have always thought that men were hornier and thought of sex more than women. This was hard for me to believe since I always thought of it.. a large percent of my day.. how on Earth could a man think of it more? But this is how it seemed. Every where I looked, there were horny men. End of story right?

Not so much.

Ben and I were having a conversation. I asked him if he thought about sex through out his day... like I do. He said not really... which... was hard to swallow (no pun). This cannot be right. The world is geared towards sex... there is really no where you can go.. nothing you can watch... that you won't encounter something sexual.

Even with that... this means.. people think about sex a lot right? Maybe not... maybe Ben is right.. and its all about sex selling. So this leaves me to have to rethink my world. For me to have to be able to deal with sex on the brain. I try very hard not to let it over take me... but it does. There is not a day that passes that its not on my mind and how I want it. Hell, I'd go far enough to say.... there is not a hour that passes.

So does this mean that women want/think of sex more? I mean really.... I want to know. It's not like I can walk up to men I know and ask... that does not seem appropriate. So this really leaves me to throw it out to my readers.. and hopppppppppeeee that you love me enough to give me your thoughts. Maybe even then I wont have a definite answer.. but maybe I'll be closer to something.

So that is it... that's my thoughts on it... let me have it :)

just because

Sometimes we forget... or... actually sometimes we get lazy... and we quite doing the things we used to. For whatever reasons... they just stop happening... time.. money... or just plain being tired.. it just ceases. I can't say I've always been the type of person to go out of my way to show someone how much I care for them... how special they are to me. I would do things.. but they were always for special occasions.

When I met Ben... he had a history of not feeling appreciated... and from there I made a promise to myself to never let him feel that again. Because of this... I would do special things... like leaving notes.. or having him come home to a massage... or even have him come home to me naked. I always (and still do) would make sure to tell him things I appreciated him doing.. or complimented him. It's important to me.

Lately I found myself not doing it as much... mostly because he does not surprise me in the same manner. It is not that he loves me any less than I love him... its not that he doesn't want to... it just comes down to the black and white of it... my dear beloved is not a planner. He doesn't look at the world like I do. He does not spend all day at work planning a special evening.. its just not who he is.

I mean, I wish he were.. but he is just not. He has so many wonderful qualities about him and so this is not a big deal.. at least.. not always. After all.. I am a woman... and can be a bit crazy sometimes. Besides, I am the planner.. I love to do that... and so.. we fit together nicely.

Anyways.. my point. Like I said.. I kind of let it go... and realized today... that its silly. I enjoy surprising him... doing special things for him... because it makes me and him feel good. So... I decided... damn it... it doesn't matter if he doesn't show me the same way that I show him how much I love him. He shows me... every day. He doesn't have to do special things for me.. because he is always doing something.... always there.. no matter what.

So... back on the horse.. :) Ben is coming home to a nice relaxing shower.. followed by a body massage.. and a candlelit dinner. I can't wait to spend the evening with him.... hope everyone else has as good of a Saturday that I'm going to have.

would you rather....

I found this meme on Ms. Inconspicuous's blog... enjoy!


1. Would you rather be stranded on an island alone or with someone you dislike/don't get along with?
Alone for sure.. there is no way I could spend forever with someone that drove me nuts on an island... I think I might end up hurting someone.. and it wouldn't be me

2. Would you rather accidentally walk in on your parents having sex or have them walk in on you?
Oh geez. I say... be walked in on.. there is NO way I want to see my parents having sex.. that just is too much for me to handle. BUT to be all honest, I really don't think they have sex that often anymore.

3. Would you rather be snapped by paparazzi during a nipple slip or while exiting a car with out any underwear?
Totally a nipple slip... the chances of the latter are more possible I suppose since I never wear panties... but whatever.. but then again.. I don't wear skirts either...


4. Would you rather not have sex for two years or not be able to use the Internet for two years?
Oh my. Hands down I'd have to give up the internet... and we all know just how hard that would be... I'm quite addicted to it.... *hangs head in shame* But there is no way in hell I could go two years without sex... I go nuts after two days... I'd never make it. I mean, I've not even went two months without sex since I lost my virginity- k.. that sounds bad.

5. Would you rather find true love or 1 million dollars?
As much as I'd love to have a million dollars... it does make one happy... course, it sure does make life with love so much easier... but to choose between the two... love wins every time.


Bonus (as in optional): If you had to choose *one* sexual position for the rest of your life, what would it be? Why?
Heh... Doggy... no question about it... I love seeing my husband when we have sex.. but there is something about him taking me from behind that just drives me wild. I could do that forever for the rest of my life and be perfectly happy!

How the kinky met the.... not so kinky

First off... Happy 2009... a fresh start and so forth. It feels like just another day to me... but... yeah. I hope everyone is feeling well on this rainy New Year's Day... I know Ben... is not.

So last night we had a poker party as stated in my previous post. Everyone filed in shortly after 8... booze in tow... and few donned my party attire... but the ones who did were to coolest kids in the house (hehe... I, of course, was one of the few).

We had a mixed bunch last night... a handful of our kinky friends, some of Ben's work buddies (non judgemental ones), and my sister and brother-in-law. My sister is kind of a prude.. she can be fun sometimes... but other times... she is the type of person who if its not something she's into... then its gross or wrong.

Very early on in the night it came out that I swallow.. she thought this was gross. The way I see it... if your man is willing to go down on YOU then how is it any different.... poor brother-in-law. But whatever... if that's how she wants to be... sexually closed off... that is her problem and she is the one missing out on lots of fun times.

The drinks poured and lots of poker was played. It was a really fun night.. filled with laughter.. (and some snorting... heh...). One of our chairs fell apart on someone... which was funny as hell. Apparently I was fondled while my eyes were covered.... and yes.. there's a picture to prove it. Ben got totally wasted... poor thing.. I've seen him drunk... but never seen him get sick. Last night was a first for that. I hate that I couldn't do anything for him- but that was after everyone went home.

At some point in the night.... we were throwing around streamers... and Ben wrapped some around my throat from behind and pulled. My sister was like "looks like he's into bondage tonight"... which is shocking coming from her.. she was totally cool last night. That was awesome. BUT all our kinky friends were over on their part of the table giggling their asses off at that one... if she only knew.

We did watch the ball drop... and had champaign.. which I hate.. but took a sip of. All in all it was one hell of a fun night. It went off without any issues.. and I'm so thankful for that. You just never know what will happen when you get a group of different types of people together. They just all proved to me what great people they all are... and why we have them in our lives.

So, good bye to 2008... and hello 2009... I hope that this year is just as good as the last... if not better. I look forward to many fun.... touching... and erotic moments... and wish you all the same!

time for something new....

Happy New Year to everyone!! I hope that this New Year's Eve is the best one so far... full of fun times and good memories. Make sure to drive safe (for those of you who are the DD) and be careful!

We'll be bringing in 2009 playing poker and drinking with our friends... hopefully I'll have good stories to tell!!

So here's a toast to all my readers! Cheers!

Sugasm #155

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #156? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
I’m kind of … insatiable.
“She’s gasping already. Each breath a moan, each touch connected to the noises she makes.”

The most spankable day of the year
“And for spankos, they are a high holy day to be approached with all the reverence and gaiety of a Pagan-cum Christian holiday.”

Private club
“It’s that kind of club - the kind you have to know about, the kind that doesn’t even have a name.”

Sugasm Editor
Sex Work And Honesty: Being Childfree

Editor’s Choice
I Wonder

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Autobiography of a Masturbator: Porn O’Graphicus, Part 5
Believing the Bullshit. Confession #202
Good Girl
Performance pressure
The Truth is, I’m Lonely

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Angel Dark & Tereza Ilova - Close Friends
HNT: Tie
Purple Passion
Sibelle - Toyed
Vintage Kink Wednesday
What Santa Sees Through My Window….

Sex Work
High Heel Sucking and Dripping Dicks
Sex work and the right to choose

Sex Humor
Monday Mirage: Hundred Orgasm Woods
Who’s Your Daddy? Vader vs. Joker
WTF To Do With a Botched Trim Job

BDSM & Fetish
A Boy and his Sleepsack
Call my name
Feast
I smell like sex
My First Over-The-Knee Spanking
The only DIY Leather Hood on the net
Sex Life Snapshot
Tie Me to the Ends of Love, Part 3

Sex News, Reviews, & Interviews
12 Days of Christmas Sex Toys List
Beautiful Blonde Bondage Model Dia Zerva Endures Her Most Intense And Brutal Impact Play Scene Of Her Career
Bondage Model Christina Carter And Master Rigger Lochai In An Erotic Dance Of D/s on Hogtied
Fetish Pinup - Bettie Page dead at 85
Fresh Of The Presses, The Orgasm Bar 8 On DVD.
Fucking on Flickr
Hot Erotic Holiday E-books
On The 12th Day of Christmas: We-Vibe
Tribute to Bettie Page: Queen of Kink
Women In The Industry

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Almond’s Joy
Astrid, your mouth fucked my cock.
Casual Poetry
Headhunter
I Hurt
Mesmerizing Love
She Walks in Beauty Like the Night…
VIP anal, threesome, ATM
Windows

Merry Christmas!

I know I've been a terrible blogger as of late... but with the holidays here.. its really just been a mad house. The weather has been crazy and trying to make sure we're ready for Christmas... just keeps me from actually having time to blog. Hopefully things will get back to normal afterwards.

With that said... I wish all of you a very happy holidays. I hope that it is everything you hoped for and more and that you are blessed with time with family and friends.

I know that we will be having a great day tomorrow.... so far.. I think this has been one of the best Christmases I've ever had. I think that the snow had a part in that.. butttt its just been a good one all around filled with lots of good memories.

Oh and I got my first white Christmas... only took me almost thirty years to do it.