this girl's life

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How young... is too young?

The other morning I was on my way to work... at a stop light I opened up Facebook. As the updates came... there was my 18 year old niece.... saying she was engaged. I don't know who else feels like this... but when you watch a kid grow into an adult... its hard to make that transition into thinking they truly are grown up. It was odd to see that she was in fact getting MARRIED.

I can't help but worry that she is too young... that she's see far too little of this world... and that she can't possibly know who she is yet. I know I didn't... even if I thought I did. I'm not saying that getting married at 18 doesn't work. What I am saying is... that it takes a lot of work. Marriage is work even when you're 40 let alone 18. I wonder if they truly know the gravity of what they are going into.

I know at 18 I thought I knew what the whole world was about... that I knew it all. The reality is that I am a different person now than I was then. This may not be the case for her... and for her sake... I truly hope this is true. I just really want her to be happy and have a wonderful and full life. I also hope that this works... and that twenty years from now... they are going to be going strong.

The truth is.... I do very much like her fiancee. He's a great guy... and adores my niece. I have no problem with him at all. I just worry that's all. I've always been a worrier... and I doubt that will stop anytime soon.

At any rate.. there has not been a date set. My niece is going into the Navy... and leaves for boot camp in May. She said they are going to wait till after that and some schooling she has to go through.. so at least the summer of 2011. I think that will give them time to let their very young (6ish months) relationship weather the test of time and distance. If they can make it through that... I'm fairly certain they can make it work.

Love is a strong thing...but it takes more than that to make a marriage work. I know all of you who are married totally understands that. And like I said... I just want her to be happy.... and him for that matter.... they are good people.

(And before I get attacked.... I hope that I didn't come off as saying that getting married at 18 is wrong... I just think it brings some added weight. You have to grow up together essentially. I know it's not impossible... many people have done it.)

A Tale of Two Piercings (part 2)

You can find part 1 here.

Valentine's Day rolled around... it was the first day of our vacation. We didn't leave the house till the afternoon.. I believe close to one or two. I could feel the nerves welling up inside of me.... but strangely enough.. not nearly as bad as I had expected. I really assumed that I was going to be a ball full of nervousness... but really... it never was overwhelming.

Ben made sure that I wanted to do it... said that I didn't have to if I didn't want to... but I had... what.. almost five months leading up to this one day. I wanted to. The idea of them wasn't my idea to begin with... and had he never mentioned it.. I never would have done it on my own accord. Somehow over those months... it became something I really wanted too. Can't complain about that :-)

We got downtown, where the shop was. We had to park in a garage several blocks away... but it wasn't too terrible of a walk. We parked and arm in arm.. we walked down the street... chatting and enjoying our day out. The rain was a gentle sprinkle... and so we were okay without an umbrella. We did... however... walk under any canopies we passed by.

We got to the place... and with a deep breath... we pushed into the shop. At the counter was two people... a guy and a girl. I didn't make eye contact... I didn't say anything... but the idea of telling a complete stranger I wanted to get my nipples pierced slightly embarrassed me. Even so, I waltzed up to the counter with Ben... and said just that.

The guy... Charlie... started out by explaining that they didn't pierce with anything but bars... and used Tygon. This I already knew. He pulled out the beads I could choose from and laid them out on the counter. I told him I wanted something blue... and he pointed me to the few options I had. I ended up deciding on a silver ball with blue gems in them.

He took some initial information... said he was going to sterilize the jewelry and handed me a clip board to fill out some more stuff. Ben and I strolled to the couches where he looked through their portfolio. I finished up the paper work pretty quickly... and sat and waited. I took off my jacket.. I was warm... I'm thinking from the nerves. I was actually doing this. It seemed a bit crazy.

Charlie called us back into their piercing room. We chatted... in a way that was familiar about pets and stuff. It was kinda weird.. but really good.. as it put my worries at bay. I didn't get time to get all worked out and crazy. He was very good like that. He also asked if I was nervous or excited. I laughed that uneasy sort of laugh.. and said nervous for sure.

When he got all the stuff set up... he said he'd step out and let me get undressed and get comfortable. I remember feeling kinda strange... taking off my shirt and bra.. and sitting in this chair so that some guy could stick a metal needle through my nipples. Strange indeed.

When I got settled, Ben went and got him. Charlie had me stand up with my arms at my sides. He marked each side of my nipple then had me settle back in. More chatting went on. He asked me if I was feeling okay- I was... and just ready to be done.

He put these tiny scissor shaped forceps on my right nipple. He asked if they were too tight.... in my head.. I laughed... I certainly have had worse. I told him they were fine. He told me to just keep breathing and not tense up... it would only hurt worse. I couldn't look at him... or down... I just looked straight at Ben, who held my hand and looked compassionately down at me with a smile.

Then.. it was time... he counted down.. and through my nipple the needle went. I tried hard to breath.... but it was hard not to squeeze Ben's hand. I was going to a tough cookie and not cry or scream... no way. I did... intake air and make a sound.... the kinda sound you make when you're trying not to panic. Then the right one was done. Again, I was asked if I was doing alright... I was... let's keep going.

Onto the left. Same as before... I kept breathing... but never felt an adrenaline rush. Too bad too. Again.... the forceps... the count down... and the needle ripped out a piece of me. This time... it hurt much worse. I still didn't scream... but man was I glad we were done.

I could get dressed now... and I was going to do so carefully. Charlie said to sit for a few to make sure I didn't feel dizzy or what not. When I felt confident I could stand with no issues... I stood and felt dizzy almost immediately. I grabbed onto Ben's arms as my world spun. Charlie asked if I was doing okay and then said to sit for a bit longer. He went and got me a glass of water to help.

After a few minutes... I stood slowly and got redressed. It was done.... I had pierced nipples.

After we paid.... we pushed out of the store onto the streets of downtown... and I felt awesome. The piercings didn't hurt nearly as much as I had expected... the worst part was certainly the actually piercing.

It's an odd thing walking down the street with a secret piercing of sorts.... and you know.. and you feel like the whole world should know. I know that I love my piercings. I never thought I would so much... but I do. I'm so glad I got them. I've been so fortunate in my healing process too... I've had no issues and no soreness to speak of.

So that's my tale... of something that would have never been had it not been for Ben...

A Tale of Two Piercings (part 1)

Sometime in October.... Ben asked me how I felt about nipple piercings. I told him that the idea kinda scared me... that I'd never just get them done just for me. I mean... obviously this is something that would hurt very, very much. He also asked if I'd ever get it done.. that he thought nipple piercings were hot. This, of course, was a huge motivator to do it... as I like doing things that my husband thinks is hot.

After some thought.. I agreed to get it done.

The first hold off came as soon as I decided to do it. With my surgery on the horizon.. I couldn't them done. So we decided that after, we'd do it. When the time came... it was Christmas and we needed to focus on spending our money on presents... it would have to wait some more.

New Year's Eve rolled around... we had a poker party. There was a mixed bag of attendees. One of the people that came was a friend of a friend. Cool chick though. She had her navel pierced several weeks before with something called Tygon. She said that it cut down her heal time considerably. We chatted briefly about it... as my sister was there.. and I wasn't wanting her to know why I was asking. She just wouldn't get it. I decided that later on, I'd email her and ask more. She just raved about the place she got it done.... and so when I went to decide where to get it done...I checked them out.

As 2010 rolled around... we were wanting to take a vacation... after being burnt out with work. I decided that we'd wait for vacation to do the piercing.. just in case I was going to be sore. I didn't exactly want to be working with sore tits lol. We planned to take the week of Valentine's Day off. The closer we got to it.. the more excited and nervous I got. I was pretty worked up about it... the last piercing I had didn't exactly work out so well. I think it lasted less than six months. I just really didn't wanna go through the pain of getting them pierced and then not having them very long.. but I was willing to give it a go.

As the week approached... Ben and I talked about Valentine's Day and what our plan was. Ben thought it'd be cool to go down to Portland and spend the day there and get my piercings. And so... that was the plan. Yes, I could still back out... but by then.. I wasn't doing it just to make him happy... I really wanted to get them done.

Even when the day approached.... I was super nervous......

TBC :-)

Ben's idea

I was at work... and texting. (Yes, I know.. shame on me). Anyways... I was telling him about my most recent crazy dream. You see, I have very crazy dreams.. and am known for them. I think my all time favorite was the one where Snoop Dogg tried to kill me. It was quite funny.

In the process of the conversation... he mentioned that I should start writing down my dreams. I asked him if there was a specific reason... he only replied that it'd be interesting. So of course this planted the seed.. that has now become a new reoccurring part of my blog.

From now on.. any time I have a strange or crazy dream... ther'es a good chance it will show up on here. :-)

SOOOO on with the show. I have two different dreams to talk about... both completely different but interesting (to me atleast) in their own right.

Several days ago... I had a dream about a baby giraffe. He was the size of a half grown cat with fluffy fur instead of short hair like a normal giraffe had. He was super cute and rambunctious. Anytime the door was open... he'd take off for it.. trying to get out. You'd think it'd get annoying.. but all it did was make me laugh. AND the best part was that you could cuddle him... and while you petted him... he'd purr, just like a cat. OMG so cute.. and I want one so bad. Too bad it doesn't really exist!

Two nights ago I had a dream based in Biloxi, Mississippi. I've realized that I dream a lot about the south. I grew up there... and know it very well.. (that is the parts I've grew up in lol). I'm sure that's why it plays such a big role versus where I live now.

Anyways... I was at a casino right on the beach. It was a big resort as well... apparently it was bought by a new owner and was being remodeled. They had just put in this awesome pool area that was more of destination than just a place to swim. It was amazing... and I remember thinking how good it felt to be swimming as I don't get to often really.

I stayed at the pool for a good while until I was supposed to meet up with Ben and his best friend. Sometime in this process of meeting up with just Ben it came to attention that we were meeting up so that we could have a foursome with his BF and BF's sister. I thought this was just too weird and really didn't want to do it. I did my best to make Ben understand that... but he shrugged it off.. saying that it wasn't weird.. and it was no big deal. It was pretty frustrating.

We got into his car and were going to go meet up with them... but for some reason Ben decided to drive towards the casino. There was 3 or 4 tunneled roads that led to the underground parking area. He picked one of the middle ones that was corded off and busted through it. I was freaking out asking what he was doing... but we pressed forward down the dark road that obviously been unused for some time... it was covered in dirt and trash.

Off in the distance I realized that the road had been cut off and it was going to drop us directly into the Gulf of Mexico. I started to panic... and finally talked him into turning around. Just as he did... I woke up.

So yeah... that's a few... and there will be more in the future. I know I can't be the only one that remembers their dreams to such depths. I do find them interesting though. :-)

the surgery

So where to start. I guess I should pick up from where my last post that wasn't blog ending.

I was scheduled for my tubal at the end of November... two days before Thanksgiving to be exact. It was kinda crappy.. but my choices were that or two days before Christmas... I bet you can guess why I picked November.

I spent the weekend before making pies and breads for Thanksgiving.. getting as much done as I could... as I knew I wouldn't be much help in the kitchen (and I wasn't). Finally the day arrived.

We checked in at six a.m. and did a series of waiting. I was back in the prep room around 6:30ish. I got changed into my very sexy gown and slippers. I was draped in warm blankets which soon become a little too warm. They also put these cuff things on my calves that are inflated during surgery to prevent clots. Not flattering but served a purpose.

I answered questions like if I had any jewelry on and if I was shaved (like I wouldn't be lol). Fun. Next came the iv which wasn't too bad... The nurse numbed my hand so it wouldn't hurt going in. That was a nice touch... I've never had them do that before.

Soon we were joined by the drug doc lol and my doctor. More questions and we are good to go. Ben had to leave me then. I was certainly nervous... but I was committed now.

They wheeled me down the hall to OR 3. It was cold and kinda scary. There were like seven people in there plus the docs. I waited as they prepped my table and noticed the schedule of people getting surgeries. One was a 24 year old getting a hysterectomy. That breaks my heart to even imagine...

I didn't have time to focus on that though. They had me scoot to the table. My right arm was wrapped in a warm blanket... I could feel the leg cuffs inflating. I looked up into the light as the put the knock out stuff in my iv and put my arm out on the arm rest. I heard a nurse say she was putting an patch on my chest and I looked up at the lights. And that was it.

Apparently as I was coming out (I don't remember this-Ben told me later) but I totally panicked...and started thrashing around. I had to be held down by three orderlies. I'm glad I don't remember that... I'm sure I was scared. Not a good memory to have.

What I do remember is the severe cotton mouth. I got asked in my haze if I wanted crackers or Graham crackers... I picked Graham... Took one bite but my mouth was too dry. At least I think that's all I ate. I asked for water too.

They wheeled me into another room... and Ben was finally allowed to see me again. That's where the nurse scheduled my post op appointment then asked if I felt good enough to head home. Honestly, I was still pretty loopy but I had Ben. They gave me my first dose of pain meds before having him sign my release papers.

He helped me get dressed an even put my shoes on(sweetest. man. ever.) then helped me to the wheelchair. With that.. we were on our way. We stopped long enough to get my medicine at kaiser... I decided to stay in the car...I'm not so sure I would have had the energy to go in.

When we got home I went straight to bed with help of course. Ben joined me :-) I didn't sleep well. When they do this they fill your stomach cavity with air... Not all of it comes out. So there was tons of pressure that hurt more than I can describe. It took hours to dissipate.

We stayed in bed till almost three when my back hurt too much to lay there any longer. I keep having to change positions every little bit to try to alleviate the discomfort even through the meds.

I mean...overall... It wasn't terrible but I'm very glad I don't have to do this again. It took me about three or four days to not be walking around like I was an old woman... and about a week to not feel drained at every little exertion. But... its all behind us now. It's nice to know that birth control is a thing of the past for us.

its been a while

Short and sweet. Thats me. And... I'm back. I have missed blogging ever so dearly... and now its time to come back.. and try to pick up where I left off. So much has happened... little stuff and big stuff- so bare :-) with me as I try to recount what I think is important from the past six months.

I fear I have lost the few regulars I had... nevertheless.... I'll write anyways. Because after all... this blog really is for me.... I just happen to enjoy having people read as well :-)

So with that... I'm not sure at what pace I'll be pumping out posts.. but I hope its somewhat regularly!